365 Days to a Better You – Day 12

Ask for what you want.

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In Matthew 7:7, Jesus says, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.” There is a power in asking.

Picture my wife April and I driving down the road. I look behind me once and then again. She feels a tinge of frustration.

Are you trying to get over,” she asks?
Yes,” I reply.
Do you have your turn signal on so they know you want to get over?”

It seems silly, but we walk around in our lives acting as though the people around us and the Universe already know what we want. We’re all adults and we’ve learned that simply asking doesn’t get us everything we want in life. It gets us a lot more, though, than not asking and expecting the world to somehow infer our intentions and wants.

Wayne Gretzky said, “You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.” Failing to ask is failing to shoot.

Power hack: Use these seven power words up the power of the ask. The goal is not to control others. The goal is to make your asking for what you want as powerful as it can be.

In the video above, Kevin Hogan mentions the research of Dr. Ellen Langer. Here’s more information on the power both of asking and, specifically, of adding the word because.

Then there’s the work of Dr. Robert Chialdini. He’s studied the universal principles that persuade people to say yes. We’ll get into these in more detail in a future blog. For now, watch his very popular video overview of the topic. You’ll definitely pick up some things you can use right away.

There’s no question that asking ups your chances of getting what you want in life and how you ask influences the response. It appears that asking is the key to receiving.

Stay inspired!

Ray

For tons more motivational content, please visit the TAS website or YouTube channel.

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365 Days to a Better You – Day 10

Be a coach, not a critic.

There’s no doubt that we all need a kick in the pants from time to time to keep us driven and focused. Self-discipline and self-reflection are keys to the pursuit of success and happiness.

Many of us learned in early in life to be our own worst critics. I’m not completely sure of the psychology behind it; whether it’s nature, nurture, or some combination thereof. The thing is many of us allow that inner critic to speak to us and treat us in ways we’d never allow another person to do.

Here’s today’s life hack. Coach yourself up don’t beat yourself up. I want you to fire the inner critic and hire the best coach you can ever have – YOU.

Instead of mindlessly and destructively criticizing yourself to defeat, coach yourself to victory.

To be a good leader, start by leading yourself well. Rather than going into critical mode, try Balanced Feedback.

Ask yourself:

  1. What did I like about what I did?
  2. What would you do differently next time.
  3. Close with an affirmation or a positive pep-talk.

Shush the critic and bring on the coach!

Have a great day, my friends!

Ray

Here’s more tips for giving feedback. Most are easily applicable to self-coaching.

Damn It! Just Be You

choiceI was out taking a walk with my dog on this beautiful summer afternoon. The Sun was busy being the Sun. Grasshoppers were busy being grasshoppers. I didn’t see one tree trying to be grass or altering itself to fit in with the other trees. I didn’t see one flower faking a smile.

Yet, we humans, sophisticated as we are, struggle with just being ourselves. We’re often trying to what be everyone else wants us to be, trying not to be what everyone else wants us to be, or trying to be someone else.

We can learn from flowers, grasshoppers, trees. Be who you are, damn it! Now, some will say I don’t like who I am or you won’t like who I really am. I can assure you, you weren’t born deficient and you weren’t born with a big ‘tude. You learned those things and they are just other masks you’ve learned to wear to protect yourself or hide from the magnificent being of light you came to the planet to be!

So, enough with the masks. Enough with the fakery. Enough with the pretense that you’re someone else. Being you is quite enough!

Ray

 

Ray Davis is the founder of The Affirmation Spot. He’s spent more than 25 years studying personal development and especially writing, recording, and using affirmations to achieve his goals. His eBook – The Power to Be You – offers 416 life-changing and original quotes, ideas, and affirmations to take you to new levels of achievement and reflection.

anunnaki_cover_full_colorAnunnaki Awakening: Revelation, Ray’s first novel,  is turning heads and opening minds. Humanity’s past is checkered, secret, and dangerous.

White House Correspondent Maria Love is on to the story of her life and with the help of an Anunnaki leader seeks to unravel and reveal history’s biggest conspiracy. The Awakening has begun!

10 Quotes About Excellence

Excellence Affirmation:
Excellence is my personal brand. My commitment to it is unwavering.

Here are some of my favorite quotes about excellence.

  • “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
    ~Aristotle
  • “If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as a Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, ‘Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.”
    ~Martin Luther King, Jr.
  • “I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God’s business.”
    ~Michael J. Fox
  • “None of us will ever accomplish anything excellent or commanding except when he listens to this whisper which is heard by him alone.”
    ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • “Excellence – Take what you have and do the BEST with it.”
    ~Joyce Myer
  • “Be a yardstick of quality. Some people aren’t used to an environment where excellence is expected.”
    ~Steve Jobs
  • “Excellence always sells.”
    ~Earl Nightingale
  • “Excellence is not a skill. it is an attitude.”
    ~Ralph Marston
  • “Excellence is the gradual result of always striving to do better.”
    ~Pat Riley
  • “Excellence is to a common thing in an uncommon way.”

~Booker T. Washington

Stay inspired!

Ray

Check out Ray’s speculative fiction novel, Anunnaki Awakening: Revelation. It’s now available in paperback and on Kindle.

2012 New Year Affirmations

Today’s Thought:

“An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.”
~ Bill Vaughn

As you look at that quote, which one fits you? If you’re in the first group, please keep that momentum flowing in your life and the world as you impact it in 2012. If you’re in the latter group, a new year is a new start. It’s a chance to ask whether that way of seeing the world is getting you where you want to go in life.

2012 promises to be an intriguing year. There have been a lot of seeds planted in the mass consciousness about this year. Even if nothing historic or catastrophic happens, we are going to have to diffuse all the psychological baggage that accompanies the coming of this year. For what many still don’t realize, is that are our minds (individually and collectively) are not separate from the world “out there”. Our thoughts are, in fact, the root system of the “tree” we see manifested as the “real” world around us. If you dig up a tree, you will find it all stems from its root system. If you dig up our world of events and experiences, you soon see it is made up of our thoughts.

The cross-currents of disempowerment will be many and vocal in this historic year. The pace of change – real and perceived – is going to pick up during this year because of the built up psychological expectations for it. That makes it more important than ever to empower your mind and think the thoughts and envision the world you desire.

I am posting New Year’s Affirmations a little early so that you can begin using them now to get your new year off to a great start. Here are 23 affirmations to get your new year off to an empowering start.

I recommend you begin the year with using either “this year” or “In 2012,” and as you get beyond the change of the year change it to “Today” or “Right now”.

  1. This year I AM the person I came to the planet to be!
  2. In 2012, I AM the change I want to see in my world!
  3. This year, I AM a miracle in motion!
  4. In 2012, I AM bigger than my doubts, bolder than my fears, and stronger than my obstacles!
  5. This year I challenge my paradigms to prove their worth and I change those paradigms that fail the test.
  6. In 2012, I choose to live in the sunshine of my possibilities, rather than the shadows of my doubt.
  7. This year my life is built on choices, not chances!
  8. In 2012, I breathe in every experience life has to offer and exhale a life well-lived!
  9. This year I AM the engine of my dreams!
  10. In 2012, my life is what I make of it and I choose to make it a _____ place to be!
  11. This year I follow my bliss! This year I experience my bliss! This year I become my bliss!
  12. In 2012, I am an abundance multiplier! As I succeed, I help others succeed too!
  13. My life belongs to me! This year I begin anew!
  14. Forget Resolutions! In 2012, I’m having a thought revolution!
  15. This year I have a budget and I’m sticking to it!
  16. In 2012, I CHOOSE  a love centered world over a a fear centered world!
  17. 2012 is MY year! My possibilities multiply, my successes magnify, and my potential is realized!
  18. As I turn my face to 2012, a brilliant new Sun dawns in my life!
  19. An amazing light lives within me! My light grows brighter and brighter throughout 2012!
  20. 2012 brings the perfect people and the perfect opportunities into my life!
  21. My personal recession ends in 2012! My career/business is zooming to new heights!
  22. My immune system is healthy, strong, and protecting me in 2012!
  23. This year I am flawlessly executing my business plan!

Stay inspired!

Ray Davis is the Founder of The Affirmation Spot and focuses on empowering minds to think positively, achieve goals, and live dreams. He is the author or the ebook The Power to Be You: Game-Changing Posidigms for Daily Life – a book of 416 original empowering quotes, thoughts, and affirmations. Read the intro to The Power to Be You or Download the entire ebook for free.

You also may enjoy Affirmations for Attracting the Life You Want.

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Big Rocks First – A Retelling – The Affirmation Spot for Monday October 3, 2011

Today’s Thought:

“What is is, but that doesn’t mean it’s what must be.”
~ Ray Davis

big_rocks.jpgToday, perhaps, is not my most original post. However, there are certain ideas and concepts that we keep forgetting. An occasional reminder never hurts.

You may be familiar with the Big Rocks analogy. If not, let me briefly recount it. The story has countless derivations. Many authors credit Steven Covey for putting it in his book First Things First.

A college professor instructing a class full of high-powered, driven, MBA candidates decided to make a point to this group of overachievers. He announced to the class, “It’s time for a quiz.”

There was shuffling in the room as the students pulled out pen and paper and prepared themselves to expound on some esoteric principle of macroeconomics. To their surprise, the professor produced a large, wide-mouthed glass jar from behind his desk. As the class looked on, the professor placed a series of fist-sized rocks into the jar until the rocks reached the top of the jar.

“Is the jar full,” he queried the class?

One particularly eager student raised her hand, but could not even wait to be called on. She proclaimed, “Yes, professor, the jar is full.”

“Are you sure,” asked the professor, patiently?

He produced a jar filled with small pebbles and began to pour them into the first jar until they filled all the space between the larger rocks. When he’d finished he asked again, “Is the jar full?”

Skeptical, from being burned the first time, someone said, “Probably not.”

Smiling, the professor pulled out a jar of sand and poured it into the first jar. The sand seeped into the crevices between the pebbles and filled the space. As the sand reached the top, the professor had one of the students come to the front of the room and pat the sand down and smooth it so that it was even with the top of the jar.

“Now is the jar full?”

A few people were now ready to guess again that the jar was full. The professor pulled out a bottle of water and began pouring it into the jar. The water was absorbed by the sand. When he had poured as much water as the jar could hold, the professor asked one more time if the jar was full.

The class sat there, a bit unsure. Finally, the professor confirmed that the jar was now full.

“If we apply this example to our lives,” the professor asked, “what is the lesson?”

One student raised his hand and said, “That if we really, really try we can always fit one more thing into our lives?”

“No,” responded the professor satisfied that they had taken the bait, “The lesson is that if we don’t put the big rocks in first, there won’t be room for them.”

If all goes well, we get about 80 trips around the Sun (plus or minus 10) in this life. The water, the sand, and the pebbles are always going to be there knawing at us, stealing our time away. We have to put the Big Rocks into our 80-year jar first or we may never get to them. We must make sure our big rocks are FIRST on our calendars, FIRST in our minds, and FIRST in our hearts.

“We become what we think about most of the time.”
~ Earl Nightingale

Are your big rocks TOP of mind? Are they what you’re thinking about and becoming?

Kona Hawaii My wife and I took our fifth trip to Hawaii this past June. We absolutely love the place. We developed a mutually shared dream to live there one day.

We in the process of thinking the thoughts, taking the actions, and attracting the situations that will lead us there. We both are afflicted by the sights of the beautiful blue water every time we close our eyes.

Hawaii has become a Big Rock for us. Last year we purchased a time share there as a sign of our commitment to be there.

What are the Big Rocks in your life? Who are the people, which are the experiences, what are the achievements that bring or would bring you the most joy? Are they the FIRST things in your proverbial calendar or are they relegated to the bottom of the pile in the hope that you will get to them someday?

As we enter the final quarter of 2011, it’s a great time to reflect and take stock of your direction your life. Think about what your Big Rocks are and make sure they are the priority they deserve to be.

Follow your bliss! Experience your bliss! Become your bliss!

Ray

Ray Davis is the Founder of The Affirmation Spot and focuses on empowering minds to think positively, achieve goals, and live dreams. He is author of the ebook The Power to Be You and the forthcoming The Power to Be You 2: 1001 Power Thoughts for Daily Life.

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