The Why Me Syndrome

hagar_why_me

Back in the day, I used to enjoy reading the newspaper cartoons. One I often read was Hagar the Horrible. Above is one of the most memorable cartoons I ever read. For many years, I kept this posted in various places to remind me that there was nothing special or unique about my challenges.

It happens to all of us; that moment when it’s not just raining it’s pouring. We think we can’t handle one more upset, one more hurdle, one more person cutting us off in traffic. Literally or figuratively, we look to the sky and shout, “Why me?”

It’s unlikely we’ll get the immediate and direct response Hagar receives in the cartoon. Instead, many people begin to see this as a frustrating pattern in their lives. “Why do I always meet the wrong guys?” “Why do people always cut me off in traffic?” “Why can’t I just get a break?”

The next time you’re thinking these thoughts or feeling these feelings I’d encourage you to consider something. You’re not uniquely oppressed by the universe. There’s no massive force with the sole and conscious goal to make your life miserable. And, you’re not alone.

These situations are part of our human experience and they happen to everyone of us. Why does it seem it’s always you? Because you’re always, every single time, present when it happens to you. You’re not there most of the time when it’s happening to others.

That guy who cut you off in traffic is going through it too. In fact, he might have cut you off, not because he wanted to make your life miserable, but because he’s distracted by worries about a layoff or a sick family member. He’s probably also thinking, “Why does this always happen to me?”

If we can gain perspective and get above these situations, we may even develop the ability to laugh at them and move on with our lives unscarred.

 
Follow your bliss. Experience your bliss. Become your bliss.

Ray

Ray Davis is an author, founder of The Affirmation Spot, and co-founder of 6 Sense Media.

His current latest novel is Anunnaki Awakening: Revelation – order your signed copy today at AATrilogy.com – founder of The Affirmation Spot and an advocate for the potential of the human race. He’s life-long history buff and holds a B.S. in History Education. He’s always been fascinated by alternative views of history.

anunnaki_cover_full_colorAnunnaki Awakening: Revelation is turning heads and opening minds. Humanity’s past is checkered, secret, and dangerous. 

 

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Judging Others

A friend of mine on Facebook posed a question about whether the concern about judging others, a relatively recent human ethic, had any value or whether judging could even be avoided. Here was my reply.

Practically speaking, it’s impossible not to judge things. I used to tick mark the number of times each day I did it and it was many. That process did make me more aware and reflective about it. Our minds seem hard-wired to judge, evaluate, and compare. It’s the way this tendency is so easily manipulated and the ready access to a place to “shout” those judgments that has made us a coarser society.

That said, this is an area we could all work on. I think there is a valuable ethic to be had here. The genesis of that ethic is the dilemma eloquently posed by Jesus. “Let be who is without sin cast the first stone.”

What I’ve noted over time is that hypocrisy and a lack of compassion are often huge components of judgment. That’s what Jesus was saying. Who among you has moral standing to judge someone else?

Tolstoy wrote, “Everyone thinks about changing the world, but no one thinks about changing himself.”

Judgement, especially overt judgment, is often about deflection and dereliction of the one duty we have in this life….to better the mind and the heart we occupy.

Not judging at all may be beyond us. Judging less harshly, with compassion, and an understanding of the places we have fallen short may be the goal to aspire to.

Follow your bliss. Experience your bliss. Become your bliss.

Ray

Ray Davis is an author, founder of The Affirmation Spot, and co-founder of 6 Sense Media.

His current latest novel is Anunnaki Awakening: Revelation – order your signed copy today at AATrilogy.com – founder of The Affirmation Spot and an advocate for the potential of the human race. He’s life-long history buff and holds a B.S. in History Education. He’s always been fascinated by alternative views of history.

anunnaki_cover_full_colorAnunnaki Awakening: Revelation is turning heads and opening minds. Humanity’s past is checkered, secret, and dangerous. 

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The Parable of Five Crosswalks

crosswalkWill is a kind young man. He goes out of his way to be kind to other people, to look them in the eye, and to smile. He seeks to treat everyone as he would want to be treated.

On this Tuesday afternoon, Will was headed to work at the local bookstore. The store was at the end of long, modern strip mall. Every day, as was his custom, Will came in at the opposite end of the mall. He has to cross five cross walks to reach the store.

At the first crosswalk, Will encountered a mother with two small children. He smiled and waved them across.

At the second crosswalk, Will waited patiently as an elderly man with a walker slowly made his way across. He smiled at Will and mouthed, “Thank you.”

The third crosswalk presented a young woman loaded down with bags. He looked at the clock on his phone, now concerned he might be late for work. The young woman smiled appreciatively as he waved her across.

As he approached the fourth crosswalk, he noticed a car that had patiently allowed several cars to turn in front of him. He stopped and let the car go, as the clock turned to 3:00. He was now officially late.

He approached the fifth crosswalk, now feeling some stress. As he approached, he saw man exiting the store and heading toward the crosswalk. It was one of those 50/50 calls. You’ve had them. Should you beat the pedestrian or wait?

Will accelerated slightly through the crosswalk. The man ran out and kicked the back of his car. He shouted that Will was a selfish a$sh*le. Then he yelled something about how selfish people Will’s age are.

You’re probably thinking what a jerk. How judgmental. You’re right.

Let’s be honest, though. How often in life are we the person at that fifth crosswalk?

Someone cuts us off in traffic. Someone holds a different political view than us. We don’t have any context. For all we know, that person could have just proverbially let four other people cross and he might be late for work. We judge that person, quickly and finally, based on one thing.

If you’re like me, you’re complicated. Far too complicated to be summed up by one action, one belief, or one word. Why don’t we give others the benefit of that doubt? Why do t we think a little more before we oversimplify other human beings and judge them based on practically nothing.

Maybe the next time you’re ready for swift summary judgment, you’ll stop and wonder about the other four crosswalks.

Be the person you came to the planet to be.

Ray

Ray Davis is the founder of The Affirmation Spot and the author of the author of Anunnaki Awakening: Revelation, the first in a alternative history trilogy.

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10 Quotes by Buddha (1 min read) — Millionaire’s Digest

Gautama Buddha, or simply the Buddha was an ascetic and sage, on whose teachings Buddhism was founded. He is believed to have lived and taught mostly in the eastern part of ancient India sometime between the sixth and fourth centuries BCE.

via 10 Quotes by Buddha (1 min read) — Millionaire’s Digest

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Story…

nothingtoinfinite

You cannot walkout from your own story.

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Your Life

The Creator Writings

You asked for and were given this particular life experience for a reason.  It may be challenging to understand the

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Leap of Faith Quote

IMG_4563

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