Releasing old frustration at the hand we were originally dealt in life allows us to play the hand we now have.
We are called to be architects of the future, not its victims.
Good morning, my friends. I want to talk about victimization today. Sadly, we live in a world where many, many people have been victims of horrific events in their lives. Victimization comes in many forms – physical, psychological, spiritual, sexual, violent. The way humanity currently operates – selfishly, greedily, thoughtlessly – this is too common.When these things occur in our lives, they can temporarily knock us off course or, for some people, it can be a life-destroying situation. It’s natural and healthy to take some time to assess and heal. The amount of time necessary is different for each person. Yet, heal we must or we risk being victimized a second time and a third and fourth by our own victimhood.
Our popular culture has elevated victimhood to a badge of honor. Something that empowers you. Any careful assessment of that philosophy will quickly show you that’s faulty logic that will only keep you locked in a downward spiral.
I have some good news, but some of you will find it hard to hear. You may even become angry in defense of your victimhood. That’s OK. It tells you it’s your good friend, but it’s not. It’s that destructive kind of friend who promises to protect you from being hurt again. In reality, it only protects you from living your life. Please know I am coming from a good place in sharing this with you. You see, I lived it for a number of years in my life.
There is a way out and up for you. It requires you to do something challenging and difficult, but necessary, to get your life back on course. It’s time to release and forgive your victimizer. More often that not, your nemesis is an unhealed victim themselves. That doesn’t excuse their actions, it does help us to see them again as a human being, just like us, dealing with demons.
Secondly, and even more importantly, it’s time for you to release the guilt or other negative feelings you hold on to…the ones that are causing you to remain a victim instead of the sovereign champion of your life.
Over my years, running The Affirmation Spot (@affirmationspot), I’ve had so many people reach out to me suffering from this victim state. I posted a number of original quotes for them to post in their daily lives to remind them that being a victim is something that happened to them. It IS NOT who they permanently are and it IS NOT who you permanently are either.
I hope they help you claim your courage and your determination to shift course and have the life you deserve.
- Every time you start to play the victim today stop yourself and remind yourself WHO really you are.
- Whenever I play the victim role, I have given my power to someone else to decide who I am. Today I refuse to do it!
- To understand your thinking creates your circumstances, is not blaming the victim. It’s empowering you not to be a victim anymore.
- Victimhood becomes a comfort zone. You remain a victim as long as you play a victim. Stop it! You’re better than that!
- As long as you play the victim, you’ll be the victim. Your hero is waiting for you in the mirror.
- No one can victimize you as completely, as your perpetual belief that you are a victim.
- You are the director if your life. The only way you keep playing the victim is to keep casting yourself in the role.
- Today I choose to be the beneficiary of my positive thinking rather than the victim of my negative thinking.
- You are a victim of your conditioning, until you become master of your thinking.
- Every time you play the victim, you give your power away.If your bliss is playing the victim, who are your dreams to stand in the way?If you believe you’re a victim, you are. If you believe you’re unstoppable, you are.
Don’t let your victimizer win by taking the life you might have had from you. Free yourself to be who you want to be!
While I believe most people just want to get up, go to work, raise their kids, and live their lives; the messages in our world are often polarized. There seems to be an effort to turn everything into an Either/Or proposition.
Either God exists or science explains everything. Either natural cures are best and Big Pharma is evil or Big Pharma is helping people and natural cure purveyors are quacks. Either you’re Democrat or Republican, Christian, Jew, or Buddhist.
It’s no coincidence, in my mind, that Either/Or sounds a lot like the sound a stubborn donkey makes. This mindset limits our options, limits our thinking, and, worst of all, limits the progress of our civilization.
Some Either/Or people make it their life’s mission to win the argument with the opposition. Others take the shortcut of simply eliminating people who disagree. Largely, people do this based on conditioned beliefs or rigid approaches to data. They do it without ever having stood a moment in their opposition’s shoes, looked around through their eyes, and most importantly looked back at themselves to see how they look from that perspective.
I’ve had people get mad at me for suggesting they are taking away half of their freedom to vote by ALWAYS voting for one party. Often I hear a response such, “But they’re evil. They can’t be allowed to rule. The sky would fall.” I call this the divided and conquered mindset and it flows naturally from Either/Or thinking.
Have you ever attended the religious service of someone you totally disagree with? Have you ever looked at the scientific evidence that counters your religious beliefs? Have you ever actually read the political arguments of your opposition and tried to see that they’re not evil or crazy and that there are sound reasons for what they believe? If not, you might be caught in the Either/Or mindset.
Open your mind. Consider new possibilities. Don’t let other peoples’ ideas limit what is possible for you – for all of us. When you do, you’ll suddenly see that you had placed yourself in an ideological cage that had to defeat the opposition at any cost. You’ll see you can be free from the cage and that whole universes open up when you do.
Keep your eyes on the skies!
Ray Davis is the founder of The Affirmation Spot, a writer, thinker, and advocate for human advancement and awakening.
His new speculative fiction novel – Anunnaki Awakening: Revelation – is shaking paradigms among believers and non-believers. It’s a clever mix of ancient knowledge, modern conspiracy, and page-turning excitement.
One reader wrote, “(My) mind is officially blown!”
Author Graham Hancock said, “We are a species with amnesia.” This book begins the awakening. Is it fact? Is it fiction? You decide!
- Every event, every relationship, every circumstance in my life is working together for my benefit.
- I am committed to saving more of my income. Paycheck by paycheck my savings grows.
- My money earning abilities are recession-proof.
- Right here, right now is always the best time to begin anew.
- I am now experiencing a greater opening of my heart and mind.
- Living honestly in every situation keeps my life simple and improves my relationships.
- A great writer lives within me. Today that writer bursts onto the page.
- Newest Affirmations – The Affirmation Spot has a new link on the side menu called Newest Affirmations. This section provides links to the newest affirmations on the website and the dates they are posted.
- Passive Listening – Listening to your affirmations passively is a great way to infuse them into your self-talk without your conscious mind interfering as much. Listen while you work or do other activities that require most of your attention. By the same process that helps you learn the words to a song you didn’t know you were listening to, you will find your affirmations coming to mind more easily.
Thank you for visiting The Affirmation Spot. Your comments on the blog or this article are always welcome. What do you think? Please click here to comment on today’s blog.
What Ray’s reading right now:
April and I are reading A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose. This is the latest Oprah’s Book Club selection. Oprah and the author Eckhart Tolle are hosting a 10-week online course covering this book began last night Monday March 3. They recommend reading the book before the class. You can register for free at Oprah.com
Big March MP3 Affirmation Sale!
Take your positive thoughts with you wherever you go. During the month of March Download any two mp3 affirmations from The Affirmation Spot.com and get a third mp3 affirmation free. There are no limits! You can download 20 and get 10 free. Simply type the word “blog” into the coupon field at checkout. Thanks for getting your audio affirmations at The Affirmation Spot! Click here to view, hear excerpts, or download affirmations.
Today’s featured affirmation is:
“I make my world. My world is what I make of it and I choose to make it a just place to be.”
Download an audio mp3 version of this affirmation right now.
Someone recently asked me what I thought some of the biggest challenges are to changing the planet. I think among the greatest challenges we face in changing the world (at least in the United States) is our federal government and the mainstream media.
Motives are always difficult to infer, but results can be analyzed. It has become clear to me is that there are people in powerful places who have a vested interest in keeping all of us divided, disempowered, and dependent upon them. The biggest tranquilizer they use to keep us frozen is fear.
Certainly, there are individuals in this world who seek to terrorize others, there is a global warming trend happening, and there is always the threat of a global pandemic. The problem is when “leaders” overstate the threat to keep people in a constant state of panic. As the peoples’ power weakens, the leaders’ power grows. It’s a simple formula and one you should consider before giving your power away in exchange for some promised benefit – health, security, or others.
“Knowing these realities, America must not ignore the threat gathering against us. Facing clear evidence of peril, we cannot wait for the final proof — the smoking gun — that could come in the form of a mushroom cloud.”
~ President George W. Bush, October 6, 2002 making the case for attacking Iraq
However, our friends in government and the media like to seize on these realities, magnify them immensely, and use them as a mechanism of control. This can only happen when people respond with irrational fear.
If we can train ourselves to take the next step and ask the next question; we can return reason, wisdom, and thoughtfulness to the discussion of these issues. We can determine just and sound courses of action.
“When we’ve finally gotten serious about global warming, when the impacts are really hitting us and we’re in a full worldwide scramble to minimize the damage, we should have war crimes trials for these bastards — some sort of climate Nuremberg.”
~ David Roberts, Grist Magazine Staff Writer describing what ought to happen to people who deny global warming.
First, serious conversation about serious change cannot happen in an environment where this kind of incendiary rhetoric is the core level of the discussion. Whatever motives people have when they say these things, the net result is to discourage debate, disempower people to think or act for themselves, and force ill-considered solutions — that generally require more insitutional control of our lives.
No one in human history has ever been more empowered by giving their power and freedoms to government for safekeeping.
My own feeling is that, if we are to unite and change the world, we first have to empower ourselves by taking back control of our own thoughts. We must be more unwilling to be manipulated by the constant influx of fear-mongering that streams into our consciousness 24/7. We must be less willing to believe the fear merchants who sell us chicken little along with miracle pills and minivans.
This constant diet of fear warps our minds towards isolation and makes it impossible to evaluate real threats. It also creates dissention and dehumanizes other people, groups, and ideas by globalizing the threat represented by a few.
We can short-circuit their ability to control us by becoming strong, empowered individuals. This represents a first step towards uniting to change the world. Without that element, we are simply a large group of disempowered dependents clinging to each other in a world we do not believe we have the power to change.
The second thing we need is compassion. We have to understand that even after we “get it” not everyone else is going to right away. It is easy to become frustrated at the pace of change and give up. We have to allow others to wake up at their own pace. You cannot force these things and sometimes trying only makes it worse.
Here are a few practical ways to stop the fear merchants in their tracks and maintain the integrity of your own thoughts and common sense.
There are at least two sides to every issue – find them research them and come to your own conclusions.
Ask what the speaker has to gain by spreading the fear? What are his or her interests in having you believe there is a dire threat?
Think for yourself. Make it a habit not to just believe something because everyone else believes it. This kind of herd mentality is a form of control and is the arch enemy of your ability to think for yourself.
Take active steps to combat the fear with hope and positivity. Affirmations, meditation, prayer, or just a few quiet moments help you to calm your mind and replace the fear advertising with thoughts you want to think.
Look at the past. Have those spreading the fear been right in the past? What is their track record of credibility?
Know who you are and be who you are. A strong person who is certain of their own mind, their own goals, but willing to let other be the same is the most powerful agent for change there is.
If we are the master of our own thoughts, empowered, and compassionate, we can, indeed, change the world. We can be our own person and not get caught up in “The Matrix” being spun every day by our leaders in government and the media.
We the people are and must be the source of power in this world…not government, not media, and certainly not an unaudited commercial scientocracy.
Be peaceful Be positive Be prosperous!
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Thank you for visiting The Affirmation Spot. Your comments on the blog or this article are always welcome. Please click here to comment on today’s blog.
What Ray’s reading right now:
April and I are reading A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose. This is the latest Oprah’s Book Club selection. Oprah and the author Eckhart Tolle are hosting a 10-week online course covering this book beginning Monday March 3. They recommend reading the book before the class. You can register for free at Oprah.com
March Affirmation Sale!
Beginning February 28 Download any two affirmations during March from The Affirmation Spot.com and get a third affirmation free. There are no limits! You can download 20 and get 10 free. Simply type the word “blog” into the coupon field at checkout. Thanks for getting your audio affirmations at The Affirmation Spot!
Happy leap day! You have to celebrate something that only happens once every four years.
Today’s affirmation is:
“Whatever I need always comes my way.”
Download the audio version of this affirmation set to music from The Affirmation Spot.
Notice the affirmation is not “whatever I want always comes my way.” There is a sense in which this universe is absolutely perfect in every single way. What we need, we get. What we merely want, well, not always.
It’s just human nature. We have this tendency to confuse what we want with what we need. Our little egoic brain is busy all day long making lists of what it wants. It spends inordinate amounts of time and energy comparing its view of the world against the benchmark of its wants.
The abundance we enjoy in modern western civilization only exasperates this problem. Not only do we have to contend with our natural “want machine”, but we constantly have someone telling us to want more.
Worse yet, our brain sets up conditions for happiness based on its wants. Do you ever catch yourself thinking things like:
- “If my football team loses the game Saturday, it will ruin my whole weekend.”
- “I can’t be happy in this relationship unless my husband spends all of his time with me.”
- “If I hit traffic this morning, it’s going to be a bad day.”
Your egoic mind wants your team to win the game. Your egoic mind wants your husband to spend every minute with you. Your egoic mind doesn’t want to mess with the traffic. So, like a child throwing a temper tantrum, it plants these kinds of thoughts in your head.
Your happiness is not really reliant on any of these things. These are not needs, they are wants. You might want them or want to avoid them really badly, but they are still wants.
A want feeds the ego. A need feeds the soul. A want is always expecting life to be all our way. A need fulfilled might come through joy or pain.
The fact is that God, the universe, or nature (depending on your beliefs) recognizes your needs and provides them in partnership with your own efforts.
What we need is not always what we want. Sometimes we need humilty. Sometimes we need struggle. Sometimes we need a challenge. Always, always (look back at your own life) when we get these unwanted needs we wind up stronger, happier, and freer.
There is nothing wrong with having wants. Wants are perfectly normal and natural. It’s when our wants become unbalanced with reality or even benefit that they become a problem.
Garth Brooks has a song where he says, “Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers.” There is a lot of wisdom in that.
Be peaceful Be positive Be prosperous!
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A friend of mine sent this story to me today. It is so insightful I had to share it. Thank you, Sharon!
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside all people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two “wolves” inside us all.
One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith. ”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
Be peaceful Be positive!
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