365 Days to a Better You – Day 15

Stop comparing yourself to others.

hibiscus-426285_640We humans are comparison shoppers. It’s probably some kind of a survival mechanism that we’re always weighing, ranking, and judging ourselves and everything around us.

  • “She’s so much prettier than me.”
  • He’s so much more successful than me.”
  • “They’re so lucky.”
  • “I wish I had that life.”
  • “I hate rich people.”
  • “I’ll never be that smart.”

These are a few of the millions of ways we judge, compare, and become jealous of what other people have. There is nothing productive in any of this. The time we spend doing this is time better spent working on ourselves.

One of the sure keys to success and happiness, though, is to stop doing this and run your own race. Masters, gurus, and weekend motivational teachers galore have offered some version of the only person you need to be comparing yourself to is you yesterday.

Get in the habit of being so into doing you that you don’t have time to worry about what others were doing. You’re in a one-person race, but if you’re consciousness is in everyone else’s lane, you’ll never run your best.

Every flower is beautiful in it’s own way. So are we!

Aloha from Kauai!

Ray

Power hack: If you have trouble doing this, try “tick-marking.” Have a sheet of paper handy throughout the day. Each time you catch yourself comparing yourself to someone else, stop, make a tick mark on your sheet. Consciously stopping and awareness of how much you do this are great ways to reduce it.

For tons more motivational content, please visit the TAS website and YouTube channel.

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Be Intentional T-shirt

My wife is a crafter and she’s a magician with her Cricut machine. She made me this awesome t-shirt. It’s my reminder of the two words I’m working to live by every day in 2019.

365 Days to a Better You – Day 12

Ask for what you want.

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In Matthew 7:7, Jesus says, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.” There is a power in asking.

Picture my wife April and I driving down the road. I look behind me once and then again. She feels a tinge of frustration.

Are you trying to get over,” she asks?
Yes,” I reply.
Do you have your turn signal on so they know you want to get over?”

It seems silly, but we walk around in our lives acting as though the people around us and the Universe already know what we want. We’re all adults and we’ve learned that simply asking doesn’t get us everything we want in life. It gets us a lot more, though, than not asking and expecting the world to somehow infer our intentions and wants.

Wayne Gretzky said, “You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.” Failing to ask is failing to shoot.

Power hack: Use these seven power words up the power of the ask. The goal is not to control others. The goal is to make your asking for what you want as powerful as it can be.

In the video above, Kevin Hogan mentions the research of Dr. Ellen Langer. Here’s more information on the power both of asking and, specifically, of adding the word because.

Then there’s the work of Dr. Robert Chialdini. He’s studied the universal principles that persuade people to say yes. We’ll get into these in more detail in a future blog. For now, watch his very popular video overview of the topic. You’ll definitely pick up some things you can use right away.

There’s no question that asking ups your chances of getting what you want in life and how you ask influences the response. It appears that asking is the key to receiving.

Stay inspired!

Ray

For tons more motivational content, please visit the TAS website or YouTube channel.

365 Days to a Better You – Day 11

Thought of the Day
Have the weed’s mentality. Grow under any circumstances.

~Ray Davis


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Good morning, friends. I just want to take a moment to say THANK YOU for reading these messages each day! It is my highest desire that you’ll take something valuable each day from them and that, if they help you, you’ll share them with your friends.

Today’s life hack is be resilient. Ok, all the gurus are saying we need to be more resilient, but how do you do it?

Here are practical things you can do to be more resilient.

  1. Opinions – have you noticed? Everyone has one, especially when it comes to you and your dreams. Wayne Dyer used to say, “Free yourself from the good opinion of others.” Rachel Hollis reminds her audience that the people with all those opinions won’t be around to live the life you don’t have because you let their opinions stop you. Get over other peoples’ opinions.
  2. Make lemonade – it’s old advice, but sagely advice. The results are in. Life is not always going to go your way. Things change, people change, bad things even happen to good people. Life will hand you the proverbial lemons. When that happens, make some lemonade from them. The alternative is to let the taste of those lemons sour your life. That’s not who you are!
  3. Higher purpose – these moments that can take you down for the count are the biggest reason you need a bigger life’s mission – a definite purpose – as we discussed a few days ago. Without it, all the bumps in the road will soon leave you in the ditch of life. With it, they seem like small speed bumps on the road to your Nirvana. Stay focused on your big picture.
  4. What lies within you – Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “What lies behind us and what lies before us ate tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” Remember who you truly are. You are not this temporary setback. You a hero on a hero’s journey meant for greatness. You are a one-in-a-trillion miracle indispensable to the successful operation of the universe in this moment. You are a force of nature that can’t – that won’t – be stopped.
  5. The experts said – this is similar to the first one, but even more important. You might be able to dismiss the opinion of people you know because what do they know? But, many get stopped in their tracks at the moment of setback because they start listening to all the experts. The train, the television, the Internet, Michael Jordan as a basketball player, Mickey Mouse as a good idea, the Colonel’s original recipe chicken are just a few examples of things the experts said would never work. I’m not counseling against taking good advice. I am saying that if you have a definite purpose and a burning desire to achieve it, don’t let the experts get in your ear at a moment of setback. They’ve been wrong many, many times. Every amazing breakthrough had had a chorus of naysayers jeering it along. Yours may just be the next great example of the experts being wrong.
  6. Affirmations, Affirmations, Affirmations – when your mind turns against you, turn it back. It does work for you, you know. Change your mind by changing your thinking. Everyone from Jesus to Buddha to the latest YouTube motivation sensation has said it in one form or another. Your thoughts become you. If you want to change yourself, change your situation, or change your life, change thoughts. Your thoughts are the greatest creative force at your disposal. Power them up in your moment of setback.

One of my all-time favorite quotes is by professor of medicine and promoter of meditation for stress relief, Jon Kabat Zinn. “You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”

Grab a board! Life won’t stop coming and neither should we!

Ray

If you enjoy these posts, you’ll find tons more motivational content on the TAS website and YouTube channel.

365 Days to a Better You – Day 10

Be a coach, not a critic.

There’s no doubt that we all need a kick in the pants from time to time to keep us driven and focused. Self-discipline and self-reflection are keys to the pursuit of success and happiness.

Many of us learned in early in life to be our own worst critics. I’m not completely sure of the psychology behind it; whether it’s nature, nurture, or some combination thereof. The thing is many of us allow that inner critic to speak to us and treat us in ways we’d never allow another person to do.

Here’s today’s life hack. Coach yourself up don’t beat yourself up. I want you to fire the inner critic and hire the best coach you can ever have – YOU.

Instead of mindlessly and destructively criticizing yourself to defeat, coach yourself to victory.

To be a good leader, start by leading yourself well. Rather than going into critical mode, try Balanced Feedback.

Ask yourself:

  1. What did I like about what I did?
  2. What would you do differently next time.
  3. Close with an affirmation or a positive pep-talk.

Shush the critic and bring on the coach!

Have a great day, my friends!

Ray

Here’s more tips for giving feedback. Most are easily applicable to self-coaching.

Evening Motivation – Roadblocks Are Shortcuts to Something Better

Hey, my friends!

I hope you’ve had a fantastic day! Here’s a little evening motivation for any of you who have ever hit a roadblock or a detour in your plans. Sometimes it’s the best possible thing that can happen. Here’s an affirmation you can use to remind yourself of that profound fact.

Enjoy your evening and sleep well!

Ray

Midday Motivation – Will Smith & FDR

little-boy-1635065_640Franklin Roosevelt famously said in his 1933 Inauguration Speech, “Let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.”

Fear is the one thing that stops us most from pursuing our dreams and stepping out beyond the tribe. It’s not fear of failure, but that fear that paralyzes and convinces us it’s not a good idea before we even try.

Will Smith is, of course, famous as one of the biggest movie stars in the world. In recent years, he’s embarked on sharing the motivational tips that helped him attain that status. In this video, he describes a situation we may or may never face. However, I think you’ll find it applicable to any challenge you’re facing and fearing right now.

I won’t be posting again this evening! Everyone have a wonderful rest of your Saturday and I will talk to you again soon.

Ray