Have the Weed’s Mentality

Much to our frustration sometimes, weeds are tough, tenacious, and succeed when other plants fail. Why? They never stop growing and neither should you.

Just in case no one else has reminded you today, YOU are awesome!

Ray

What is Your Definition of Success? – Day 330 of 365 Days to a Better You

Today’s Thought:
Success is the natural outcome of me being me.

Most of us have it as a goal to be successful. Yet success means different things to different people. It’s important that you define what success means to you. Otherwise, how can you know you’re on target to achieve it?

A few years ago I asked my Twitter followers to complete the phrase success is. Maybe some of their answers will resonate with you. I’d really enjoy hearing what success means to you in the comments below.

A HUGE thank you to my wonderful community of Twitter followers who always come through! Links to each of their Twitter profiles are provided, if you’d like to follow any of these amazing human beings.

  • @devany91:  Success is seeing someone you love happy.
  • @norrman87: Success is challenging the status quo.
  • @MiAmorBella: Success is yours when you choose to take responsibility for making it so.
  • @KarenJanos: Success is confronting a fear and conquering it.
  • @SusanLowry2: Success is meeting a goal you secretly thought you could never accomplish.
  • @larryczerwonka: Success is anything that puts a smile on your heart.
  • @ChurchofThomas: Success is Service.
  • @carmelbeautee: Success is belief in yourself, the project at hand, hard work, perseverance, and excitement.
  • @joytleen: Success is being peaceful and grateful with all you have and all you are.
  • @OswaldObreg: Success is peace in you.
  • @rohinkallat: Success is the path, not the goal.
  • @ATM25: Success is not measured by worldly riches, instead by the indelible positive impressions you leave in the lives of ppl you come into contact with.
  • @chilisweet: Success is when you’re content.
  • @ETRFoundation: Success is impact. In yourself or others.
  • @Dianae173: Success is being happy where you are while moving towards your goals.
  • @kickofftopic: Success is feeling good about your accomplishments, even the tiniest ones.

Just in case no one else has reminded you today, you’re AWESOME!

Ray

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Who Determines Your Happiness and Success? – Day 317 of 365 Days to a Better You

Thought:Whoever or whatever controls the criteria for your happiness and success, controls your happiness and success.”

Think about that statement for a moment. Now consider who or what is setting the criteria for your success and happiness in life? Is it you?

Giving up control of your happiness and success has become a common trap in our society. People allow institutions, other people, or their own rigid beliefs to limit or squelch their happiness and success. The barriers become so many and so high that hardly any happiness or success can be enjoyed. Sadly, many people do not even realize they have done so.

Advertisers, politicians, and religious institutions are often active players in asking people to cede their happiness or success to the criteria they set. They set a standard and rely on fear, base instincts, and subconcious/unconscious programming to embed their controlling messages. We can have tremendous reason to be happy or feel successful, but someone is telling us that we cannot be, until we…[fill in the blank].

Here are a few examples of the conscious or unconscious criteria that begin to impact our ability to achieve and enjoy happiness or success. Sometimes these criteria even have noble purposes or great goals behind them, but they are not reason to put your enjoyment of life on hold.

  • “I drink beer brand A because I can only be happy if I have the attention of attractive women.”
  • “I can only be happy as a size 4 because when I look in the magazines that’s who gets the attention.”
  • “I can only be happy when I have a bigger house or more clothes.”
  • “I can’t be happy because I’m an imperfect sinner and not worthy.”
  • “I can’t be happy until all poverty is wiped out.”
  • “Success means having a foreign sports car and a summer beach house. I’m not a success until I have those.”
  • “Success means having a championship ring. All my accomplishments are nothing without that.”

Sometimes we give other people the power to set the criteria for our happiness or success. Sometimes they will it away from us as a means of control.

  • “I’ll never be happy until I’m one of the popular kids.”
  • “I can’t be happy until my son is married.”
  • “I cannot be happy as long he is the president.”
  • “I can only be happy when my husband or wife approves of me.”
  • “I cannot be happy until I have my dad’s approval.”
  • “I’m not be a success until I prove to “them” that I am a success.”

Our words have power! And when we place preconditions on our happiness and success or allow others to, we lose. Our lives pass by unfulfilled.

All of these things are worthy goals when you choose and pursue them on your own accord. It’s fine to work to change who is president, to make your spouse as happy as possible, to purchase clothes that you like. What’s not OK is to allow these things to be criteria for your success or happiness.

There is no secret, objective happiness gained from being a size 4, a millionaire, or having your dad’s approval. Of course, the easy proof of this is that there are plenty of unhappy size 4s and happy size 18s, there are miserable millionaires and happy janitors, and there are just as many unhappy people who have dad’s approval as don’t.

Goals are fine. Aim for the size 4 or the million dollars. Just don’t make it prerequisite for enjoying a satisfying life. When you do you are placing your hope for happiness or success in an external, future condition that does not even guarantee the success or happiness when achieved.

You are allowing your experience of happiness or success to be held hostage to these criteria. You are placing your happiness and success at the mercy of subjective criteria and circumstances set and controlled by others. Why? Your happiness and your success are right here for you to access and enjoy right now.

Thought: “Happiness and success are not matters of fate, faith, or circumstance. They are states of mind that we choose or reject.”

The keys to owning your own happiness and success are fivefold.

  1. Identify – recognize the areas of your life where you have allowed someone or something outside of you to set the criteria for your happiness or success. Make a list if it helps you organize your thoughts.
  2. Reclaim Control – take responsibility. Your happiness and success are yours. That entails some responsibility and it is one reason many people give it away to begin with. Recognize that you gave control over your success and happiness away and you can take it back. When other people or institutions have had their control over your success or happiness for a long time they may fight to keep it through guilt or other means. The fact is your happiness and your success belong to you not to them. Claim it!
  3. Lower Barriers – some of us have a difficult time accepting and claiming our happiness and success. You may not feel worthy of these feelings. Even when you gain back control you may establish impossibly high barriers for yourself or continue to use the criteria established for you by others. This gains you nothing. Become friends with the idea of you having success and happiness in your life. If there are hidden emotions or thoughts that are preventing you from enjoying them, get some support or use techniques to identify and handle what is holding you back.
  4. Experience and Enjoy – when you are in control of your own happiness and success and you have an easy, comfortable relationship with them; life is good! Experience your happiness! Celebrate your successes! Share and spread your happiness and success with others.
  5. Help Others – when you experience the emancipation of owning your happiness and success you will want to help others do the same. You will become easily aware of the ways in which people let these influences rob them of their best moments and achievements. There is no reason for us to live in bondage to other peoples’ expecations or criteria. We are as able as they to determine what makes us happy or successful and far more entitled!

Follow your bliss! Experience your bliss! Become your bliss!

Ray

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15 Original Success Quotes and Affirmations – Day 304 of 365 Days to a Better You

I firmly believe that success has no real dictionary definition. Success means what it means to you. For some it’s earning a high income. For others, it’s about having peace of mind. Health can be success. Raising great kids can be a success. Whatever you achieve that gives you the feeling of accomplishment spells success for you.

As you know, I love coining original quotes. As a writer, I know words have the power to inspire and ignite the fuse of action that can lead to your every dream.

Here are eight #Rayquotes about success.

    Success is the process of overcoming all your buts.
    A thousand setbacks can still spell success, when you refuse to quit.
    Success never comes knocking on your door. Success comes knocking on your heart.
    Let success flow from your heart, rather than to your head.
    Success becomes your future, when failure becomes your teacher.
    Success and failure are not outcomes. They are mindsets that become outcomes.
    To live in a fear of failure is to live in a fear of success. For every mountain of success is built on a heap of failures.
    Our message to the Universe is confused, when we desire success and yet despise the successful. Celebrate everyone’s success as you achieve yours.

Here are a

  1. Today and every day, success is in my DNA!
  2. My world is what I make of it and I CHOOSE to make is a successful place to be!
  3. My successes are expanding and multiplying every day.
  4. Today I convert my glimmer of hope into a super nova of success!
  5. Today and every day, I make time for career AND personal success!
  6. My success grows as I go.
  7. I see success even in my setbacks.

Just in case no one else has reminded you today, you ARE awesome!

Ray

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Beyond the Fear of Failure – Day 293 of 365 Days to a Better You

Today’s Thought

“The fear of failure is the shortest route to it.”
~ Ray Davis

Success writer John C. Maxwell, in his book Failing Forward: Turning Mistakes into Stepping Stones for Success (Amazon Link), says the following.

“Failure is an inside job. So is success. If you want to achieve, you have to win the war in your thinking first. You can’t let the failure outside you get inside you.”

I was recently reading an article where they were comparing Japanese and American students’ approaches to learning. The writer pointed out that it is not uncommon to see a Japanese student fail numerous times on his or her way to learning something successfully. In Japan, there is no stigma to failing along the road to success. It is an expected and accepted part of the learning process.

In the United States, we attach a tremendous amount of stigma to failing. So much so that American students are generally not willing to go through the process of failing to learn. American students tend to focus their attention on subjects where they can be successful and shy away from subjects where failure might be involved.

So instead of going through the failure to learn process we often hear our children say things like, “I hate math.” They don’t really mean that they have something personal against math. What they are saying is, “I would have to fail too many times to get math and I’m not willing to do it.”

I’m not here to say that one nation’s approach to learning is superior. However, this fear of failing extends beyond school and impacts our adult life as well. Many people have big dreams or goals they would like to accomplish, but, again, they are still not willing feel the sting of failure to get there. Instead, they learn to play it safe just as their children do with the math.

That’s where my little aphorism at the top comes in. When fear failure so much that we are unwilling to try, unwilling to risk learning new things and failing a little; we cannot achieve our goals and dreams. All because of the stigma of failure.

Recondition yourself to overcome your fear of failure. In an outstanding article, Olimpio Zapanta offers five steps for overcoming the fear of failure.

  1. Divorce failure from your self-esteem.
  2. Failure is not all bad. It can be a great teacher.
  3. Failure and success are intimately linked – failure is often a prerequisite for success.
  4. Successful people fail constantly. That’s how they succeed.
  5. Everything doesn’t have to be perfect before you go for it.

With these five great steps and determination, don’t let the fear of failure sidetrack you from your destiny! Remember that “A Success” is what we call someone who had the courage to persist through failures.

Success and failure are not the result of circumstances. They are not the result of intelligence or luck. All of these things can contribute, but the overwhelming predictor of success is the refusal to give up. Your dreams await. They may be eleven steps away. Don’t called it a failure on step 9.

Follow your bliss! Experience your bliss! Become your bliss!

Ray

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