Time-Crunched Self-Talk – Day 238 of 365 Days to a Better You

“I’m going to be late. Damn it! I’m always late. There’s just not enough time. I wish I had more time! I just have so much to do.”

This may be an extreme example (minus the explicative), but do you find yourself engaged in time-crunched self-talk? I know I do. I know I get hurried, rushed, and convinced I don’t have enough time to “get it all done.”

Consider slowing down to speed up.

We can all agree that time is valuable and that our human existence is finite. However, our relationship to time, in the modern world, is one of slave and master. It’s destructive and it’s unhealthy. And you thought it was just your charming Type-A personality.

We use words like deadline, due date, drop dead date. We attach adjectives like looming. Our subservience to our time commitments, even at the expense of our well-being, is astonishing.

I have questions for you. Is anyone actually going to die, if your report is a day late? Will your company go out of business? Will it’s stock crash? Ok, yes, there is that .01 percent of the time where that is true. The other 99.99 percent of the time it’s not even close to true. Yet, we break ourselves as if it were.

One of the first questions I always ask when I take on a project, “Is your date a real date…a real business or moral imperative or is it a date someone made up out of thin air?”

Guess what? Most deadlines and due dates really aren’t.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t be a person of your word. I am saying take a breath. I am saying most of the time emergencies in our lives…the ones we self-talk to ourselves at the stoplight you just missed…are total fiction.

Why stress so much? The only person that’s dying when you do, is you.

Power hack: Here are some simple tips you can apply when you feel the time crunch stress and the self-talk starts flowing.

  1. Thought stopping is a fantastic technique to use with any kind of negative self-talk.
  2. Tick-marking is a technique I created many years ago. You literally have have a sheet of paper and a pen. Every time you think a time crunching thought, make a tick mark on the sheet. It’s a great way to notice how often it’s happening and bring more awareness.
  3. Ask for more time. As I mentioned above, few deadlines really are. You’ll be surprised how often the answer will be yes, if you ask.
  4. There’s actually plenty of time. If you stop rushing through life worried there’s not enough time, you’ll find there’s plenty of time. Fill your day up with life not worrying about time.
  5. Make time serve you. Don’t be a slave to time. Make it your tool.
  6. There’s no moral imperative for you to risk your health for imaginary dates.
  7. Lose the time aphorisms. We have a million time aphorisms in our culture telling us why hurry, hurry, hurry is the only way to be. It’s not. That’s just a paradigm.
  8. Regroup. Take a breath. Take a break. Take a walk.

Our time is finite, but we expand it by not stressing over it so much. slow down.

Thanks for stopping by. Have a great Saturday!

Ray

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Five Steps to Constant Motivation – Day 234 of 365 Days to a Better You

You often hear sportscasters talk about a team getting “Big Mo” on their side. In that context, they’re referring to momentum. I’m talking about the other “Big Mo” – motivation. If you have the latter, I can practically guarantee you’ll have the the former.

What is Motivation?

It’s an internalized drive that pulls your powers of heart, mind, and body in a purposeful direction. It pushes you toward action and achievement and away from stagnation and procrastination. It’s something within that lights your fire, drives ambition, gives you a zest for life, and provides a reason for getting up in the morning.

Where Does It Come From?

Inspiration. Many use motivation and inspiration interchangeably. They’re similar concepts, but their source is different. While motivation is the internal fire, inspiration is the external spark that lights it. Ate you looking for motivation? The good news is its inspiration can come from a million places – a movie, a book, an experience, a sudden insight, a conversation with a friend. There’s no end to the constant sparks around you ready, as soon as you’re willing, to light that fire inside.

How to Make Motivation Work for You

Great! Now you know what motivation is and where you can dip your candle to get the flame going. How do you use it and keep it burning?

  1. Purpose – undirected motivation is a fire that soon flickers out. You must have a compelling goal that keeps feeding the fire.
  2. Action – stationary motivation quickly fizzles. Once you have a purpose, start moving toward it. Don’t wait. Procrastination is water on your fire.
  3. Goals – your purpose is a big, all encompassing target. Have small, achievable goals along the way towards it. Nothing feeds the fire like success.
  4. Celebrate – celebrate those little successes along the way. This adds incentive to keep acting in the direction of your goals and purpose.
  5. Dream – dream big, colorful dreams that employ as many of your senses as possible. The more senses that are involved the more real the dream. While goals are the intellectual objectives, dreaming is the emotional engine that keeps the whole train moving down the track. It sucks in the inspiration from all around you and keeps pushing you to act.

If you do these five things, rinse, and repeat, you’ll never be unmotivated in your life again.

Have a beautiful and MOTIVATED day!

Ray

Are You Choosing Your Paradigms – Day 230 of 365 Days to a Better You

Do you create your own paradigms or are you a tenant farmer for someone eles’s paradigms? What do I mean?

I’ve noted that there are three kinds of people when it comes to paradigms.

  1. Buyers – There are people who buy completely into their inherited cultural paradigms. Their country is the best. Their inherited religion is the best. Their inherited political party is the best, etc. They’ve never considered another point of view for a second or questioned their own assumptions.
  2. Rejectors – There are people who have thought a little more about it. Their solution is to completely reject every inherited paradigm and believe something as totally opposite as they can find.
  3. Seekers – There is a third group that has thought more deeply than either of the other two. It doesn’t mean they’re more correct than the other two. It simply means they’ve put their inherited paradigms to the test rather merely accepting them at face value. They’ve avoided or transcended the impulse to simply reject them. They’ve taken what works through testing and applied that to their life. They’ve staked out their own ground, their own paradigm.

I’m not judging any of the groups. Each can find their way in this world. Experience tells me these groups break down about 75 percent, 20 percent, five percent respectively.

The easiest road is to be the buyer. You get plenty of emotional support and reinforcement in your circle for making that choice and staying true to it. You are, though, what I called above a tenant farmer living on ideas decided upon by others for you.

It’s harder to break free from the gravity of the buyer impulse and become a rejector. You set yourself up for social ostracism and lack of understanding from family and friends in the buyer category. You feel like a rebel, but you still haven’t chosen anything. You’ve only wholesale rejected the buyers in your culture. Thus, your paradigm is still decided by theirs because you’re going to reject it whatever it is.

Seekers are people who saw through the provincialism of the buyer mindset. No one group has all the good ideas. They probably passed through a rejector stage where they used rejection to break free. Eventually, though, they evolved to a thought-space of their own choosing. It was born from experience, trial and error, and insight.

Seekers may not be enlightened beings yet, but they have taken the two critical steps on that road.

So, I ask you again. Do you create your own paradigms or are you a tenant farmer for someone eles’s paradigms?

I deeply appreciate you stopping by and spending part of your day on this blog. You’re awesome!

Find your bliss. Experience your bliss. Become your bliss.

Ray

P.S. – please checkout my latest affirmation videos on YouTube.

Self-Healing Universe – Day 226 of 365 Days to a Better You

We live in a self-healing universe. What do I mean by that? I mean we live in a universe that’s ready to heal whenever you are ready to heal. It’s ready to forgive when you’re ready to forgive. It’s ready to be forgiven when you’re ready to be forgiven. It’s ready release baggage when you’re ready to let it go. It’s ready to change whenever you’re ready to change.

The universe won’t do these things for you, but the very moment you’re ready to allow them, the universe is ready and able to offer a fresh start. You see, every moment has within it the power to change every moment that came before it. It’s just waiting for you to choose the moment to make it so.

Why not choose this one?

Thanks for spending a few of your valuable moments today reading this blog. You ARE awesome!

Ray

I have been adding a lot of new content on my YouTube channel. If you have a moment, please check it out.

Seven Ways to Lose the Drama in Your Life – Day 219 of 365 Days to a Better You

Drama is awesome in a movie, but taxing in our lives. How do you minimize the drama in your life? Based on feedback from readers, TinyBuddha.com compiled a list of seven things you can do to reduce the drama.

  1. Recognize when you’re the source of the drama. If you want to go on a drama diet, start with you. You’re the person you have the most control over. You might find, when considered beyond the heat of the moment, that you started or contributed to your last dramatic episode.
  2. Change your perspective. Is the situation going to matter in a year or even 10 minutes from now? Avoid making mountains out of molehills.
  3. Don’t feed into other people’s drama. So, you didn’t cause the drama, but did your pour oil on their fire of drama? Let them have their moment and move on.
  4. Reconsider unhealthy relationships. Are there people who bring nothing but drama to you? Harsh as it might sound, you may have to cut ties to cut the drama. This is, of course, a balance. If a person brings real value in your life but lots of drama too, you may try having a dispassionate conversation with them to see if you can come to an agreement to reduce drama.
  5. Be clear with other people. Sometimes drama is just miscommunication. Both people are reacting rather than responding to the situation. Go to your calm place and take the emotion out of it to get to clear communication.
  6. Be slow to label it drama. Sometimes it’s just a lack of patience or insight that causes us to call something drama. The other person might just really need you right now. Seen and understood in a different light the “drama” might just be a need for compassion.
  7. Learn from drama. This might be the most important one. Are you having the same drama over and over? Maybe the other person and you aren’t learning from past dramas. Get conscious. If you know something sets them off, do you really need to go there? Conversely, if you know your buttons are being pushed, get conscious and choose a different reaction or take some space.

Your life doesn’t have to be a constant soap opera, if you’ll take these steps to lose the drama.

You’re amazing! I just wanted to tell you that in case no one else reminds you today.

Ray

Please checkout my latest YouTube videos and subscribe if you Fund value. Thanks for your support.

Give Yourself Some Credit – Day 217 of 365 Days to a Better You

“We have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheaply we esteem too lightly.”

Thomas Paine
from “Common Sense”

Paine’s words reminds us how important it is to value our successes and the work it takes to achieve them.

We live in an instant gratification-obsessed world. We want the shortest, simpliest, most effortless route to victory. That’s not always a bad thing and I’m not suggesting that we purposely complicate our lives in some misguided attempt to build character.

However, when everything comes too easily for us, we fail to fully appreciate it. We lose sight of the sacrifice and effort that creates lasting success. We skip the lessons to be learned along the road to victory. We miss the fulfillment that comes from struggling, but still progressing.

Paine suggests that without the struggle we undervalue our accomplishments. He implies a natural human tendency to take for granted that which comes easily to us. You might call these easy accomplishments “blessings” or “luck” or “synchronicity” because they seem to fall into your lap.

Look closer. You see that you have worked hard for these “easy accomplishments” as well. It may be subtle changes in you or your attitude toward life that suddenly makes an impossibility possible. The work and the change originated within you.

So, what’s the take away? Appreciate every step of the journey not only for the learning, but the scars earned. Relish your successes. Most of all, remember to give yourself the credit you are due for your accomplishments.

Stay inspired, my friends and have a fantastic Tuesday!

Ray

Your Answer is Blowing in the Wind – Day 216 of 365 Days to a Better You

Today’s Affirmation

My answers are coming g to me now!

We live in a universe more mysterious than we e even begun to guess. Back in the 60s, Bob Dylan wrote the classic song – “Blowin’ in the Wind.”

“The answer, my friend,” the song promises, “Is blowing in the wind.”

Are you looking for an answer to a question, a challenge, or resolution to a situation? The answer is, indeed, blowing in the wind.

Put your desire for a solution clearly out into the universe. Then…listen. Listen everywhere. The answer may come from anywhere in your day today and in any form. Be ready. An overheard conversation, a passing thought, a commercial, insight gained from a moment in nature may hold your answer.

Know this for certain. Your answer is there and it’s on it’s way to you.

Ray