We Are All Unforgetting The Past – Day 308 of 365 Days to a Better You

We are in the process of unforgetting our past and THAT will change our future!

Every human being drawing a breath on this planet readily acknowledges he or she has a stake in the future. What many never consider is that they have just as big a stake in the past – in its transparency, its accuracy, and its meaning.

Most people you know probably hate history and find things that happened – even yesterday – meaningless. There’s a certain wisdom in not holding on to things, in releasing them. That’s different than thinking the past doesn’t matter.

Who we are, everything we think and believe, what our DNA says, how our solar system formed, and who brought us into being are all aspects of our reality that create an assumed, almost unnoticed, foundation for our reality. They make a HUGE difference.

We live in a time awash in information, yet still thirsty for knowledge. We live in a time of “truth movements” that only seem to further confuse the truth, not mention angering us and knocking us off our true game.

There are most assuredly answers out there, but the biggest answers lie within. We’re not really learning things as we look back in time, we’re remembering them. For, though we’ve crossed the River Styx and forgotten, we played a part in that past.

Maybe we’re here in this pivotal moment to remind ourselves and to remember. By remembering the past, we will forever change it. When we change the past, we change the present. Changing the present means we chart a new course for humanity into a brave new future.

Stay thirsty for the knowledge and keep remembering!

Ray

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When Nobody’s Watching – Day 299 of 365 Days to a Better You

Virtually every human being has two versions. Yes, I mean you and I mean me. There’s the public you and there’s the private you.

The public you, unless you’ve attained sainthood or enlightenment, tries to impress, to fit in, and to stand out. It tends to pretend you’ve got it all figured out and you’re damn near flawless. It’s the “Facebook self” you present to the world.

Don’t misunderstand me you’re every bit the one in a trillion miracle we’ve talked about previously. It’s just that you and I are still works in progress.

Then there’s the other you…the person you are when nobody’s watching. This is the person your public side tries desperately to hide. This person has imperfect thoughts and sometimes does imperfect things. It’s the person you’d be embarrassed to show the world…the person you wish you weren’t.

Take heart! You’re not alone! This is an ubiquitous human experience. Practically every person you meet is struggling with this same dichotomy.

Consider this. Don’t feel ashamed of that private self or beat yourself up over it. It’s an amazing blessing in disguise. It’s a great barometer for measuring who you honestly are compared to who you fervently aspire to be. That self makes it real in a way your Facebook self would never tolerate. Without such truth-telling, how can you ever hope to be your best self?

It’s the great work of your life to bring that real you into ever better alignment with your aspirational you.

Here are five easy (not simple) steps you can take to make it so.

  1. Take honest stock. Where are you really?
  2. Where do you want to be? Get as clear a vision as possible of who you want your private self to be.
  3. How will you bridge the gap between the two? What do you need to start doing? What do you need to stop doing? What do you need to do more of?
  4. See yourself and speak yourself and act yourself into a better you each day.
  5. Absolutely unquestionably know that you have an enlightened being living within you and ready to emerge if you’re willing to do the work.

I love each and every one of your private selves. If no one else has reminded you today, you are AWESOME!

Ray

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Beyond the Fear of Failure – Day 293 of 365 Days to a Better You

Today’s Thought

“The fear of failure is the shortest route to it.”
~ Ray Davis

Success writer John C. Maxwell, in his book Failing Forward: Turning Mistakes into Stepping Stones for Success (Amazon Link), says the following.

“Failure is an inside job. So is success. If you want to achieve, you have to win the war in your thinking first. You can’t let the failure outside you get inside you.”

I was recently reading an article where they were comparing Japanese and American students’ approaches to learning. The writer pointed out that it is not uncommon to see a Japanese student fail numerous times on his or her way to learning something successfully. In Japan, there is no stigma to failing along the road to success. It is an expected and accepted part of the learning process.

In the United States, we attach a tremendous amount of stigma to failing. So much so that American students are generally not willing to go through the process of failing to learn. American students tend to focus their attention on subjects where they can be successful and shy away from subjects where failure might be involved.

So instead of going through the failure to learn process we often hear our children say things like, “I hate math.” They don’t really mean that they have something personal against math. What they are saying is, “I would have to fail too many times to get math and I’m not willing to do it.”

I’m not here to say that one nation’s approach to learning is superior. However, this fear of failing extends beyond school and impacts our adult life as well. Many people have big dreams or goals they would like to accomplish, but, again, they are still not willing feel the sting of failure to get there. Instead, they learn to play it safe just as their children do with the math.

That’s where my little aphorism at the top comes in. When fear failure so much that we are unwilling to try, unwilling to risk learning new things and failing a little; we cannot achieve our goals and dreams. All because of the stigma of failure.

Recondition yourself to overcome your fear of failure. In an outstanding article, Olimpio Zapanta offers five steps for overcoming the fear of failure.

  1. Divorce failure from your self-esteem.
  2. Failure is not all bad. It can be a great teacher.
  3. Failure and success are intimately linked – failure is often a prerequisite for success.
  4. Successful people fail constantly. That’s how they succeed.
  5. Everything doesn’t have to be perfect before you go for it.

With these five great steps and determination, don’t let the fear of failure sidetrack you from your destiny! Remember that “A Success” is what we call someone who had the courage to persist through failures.

Success and failure are not the result of circumstances. They are not the result of intelligence or luck. All of these things can contribute, but the overwhelming predictor of success is the refusal to give up. Your dreams await. They may be eleven steps away. Don’t called it a failure on step 9.

Follow your bliss! Experience your bliss! Become your bliss!

Ray

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Learning from Supernovas – Day 292 of 365 Days to a Better You

Life is short. It’s not exactly a unique insight, but it’s the reality for human life. We have a precious few decades to make our mark in this universe.

Supernovas are the explosions that end the brief lives of supermassive stars. These stars burn bright and die young, as stars go. Our sun has an estimated lifespan of 10 billion years. It burns slowly and relatively dimly. There are stars out there with a diameter of our entire solar system and they may only live 10 million years.

We share something with these stars. Our lives are brief. The difference is we don’t burn automatically hot and bright and go out with a bang.

We have to work at it and sometimes it’s hard. We can drift along invisibly for our time here and leave no mark at all. We have that choice.

If you believe, as I do, that we’re here to make some difference and that our existence is no accident, then you can use these stars as a metaphor. Your time like theirs is short, but you are going to choose to burn as bright as you can as long as you can. Then, one day, when your light does go out, you’ll be a bright burst of energy the whole will witness and miss.

If no one else has told you today, you ARE AWESOME! Shine on!

 Ray

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Getting Past Fear to Action – Day 285 of 365 Days to a Better You

There’s an old German proverb that says, “Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is.”

You want to build your side business, change jobs, or go back and get that degree, but something is stopping you. Sure, time, money, the ease of staying put are often the easy culprits. Are they really the reasons you haven’t taken action or is there a conscious or unconscious fear anchoring you in place?

Change is a wolf and our fears about it do make it look bigger than it is. Are you feeling a little fear about the change? It doesn’t mean you’re coward or weak, it just means your human and you’ve allowed the wolf of fear to swallow your dream.

Want to know a secret? Most of the time, that wolf is a shadow puppet on the walls of your mind. It’s only as big as you make it.

Powerhack: Here are some things you can do turn stagnant fear into action when you’re stuck.

  1. Just jump – do you remember, as a kid, the first time you jumped off a diving board? You had that same lump in your throat you have about this. You stared at the water, you counted, and you heard your self-talk talking you out of it. Finally, one of your friends yelled, “Just jump!” That was the solution. You shut down your mind and just acted. Before you knew it, you were hitting the refreshing water and rising back to the surface in joy. That worked out and so will this.
  2. Dream bigger – yeah, this one gets a bad rap because everyone says it, but it’s applicable here. Maybe you don’t have a dream big enough to overcome your fear of acting. Have you ever REALLY wanted something? I mean REALLY? You let nothing stand in your way. If this dream doesn’t have you that passionate, dream a bigger dream.
  3. Find examples – maybe you’re thinking, “Someone my age can’t do that” or “Someone in my situation can’t do that.” Wrong! I simply guarantee you’re wrong. There is someone out there who overcame none than you to get what you want. Find them and let their story inspire you.
  4. Past is prologue– you’ve done this before. At some point in your life, you faced a challenge, thought you couldn’t, but did anyway. Remember those examples and be inspired that you’ve done it before and you can do it again.

See, that wolf isn’t as big as he seems. In the face of your determination, he turns into a lovable pup.

Just in case no one else had reminded you today, you’re AWESOME!

Ray

Take Your Own Wise Counsel – Day 282 of 365 Days to a Better You

Today’s affirmation: I am a vast source of wisdom. I am a wise counselor. I have the answers within me.

Here’s something to stick in your back pocket today. You know an amazingly wise and perceptive person who is always ready and able to provide you fantastic advice. Fortunately, you have access to that person 365/24/7. I’m talking about you, of course. You’re a wise old owl.

“Me?” you say. “I’ve got lots of challenges I can’t figure out. How can I help myself?”

Don’t be so quick to discount yourself. It’s all a matter of perspective. You need to step outside your challenges, put on your wise counselor’s hat, and analyze your situation like you are a friend or a family member coming to you for advice.

You’ve played that role many times in your life. With some detachment, you’re amazingly wise, stunning insightful, and brimming with compassion.

Give yourself the benefit of that sagely master within you. What would you tell a friend to do in your situation? What would you caution him or her about? How would you encourage your friend?

You’re much more critical and cynical when dealing with yourself. Lend the wisdom and compassion you’d show someone you care about. You’ll be pleasantly surprised by this powerful internal resource walking around in you all day long.

In case no one else has told you today, you ARE amazing!

If you enjoyed this post, please take a moment to like, subscribe, and share. Thanks for your support!

Ray

Ray
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Time to Throw Away to Rule Book – Day 275 of 365 Days to a Better You

Today’s Quote

Following a rule book, leads to a completed checklist. Following your heart, leads to a completed you.
~Ray Davis

If you live in one of the so-called “western democracies” or nations that have been built on those principles since World War II, your nation likely has a day to celebrate your “independence” or your “freedom.”

For those of us in The United States, that’s July 4 each year. That’s the day the Continental Congress ratified The Declaration of Independence. Largely penned by Thomas Jefferson, the document is a masterful expression of a free, rational human mind seeking political freedom in a world where that did not exist. Despite our modern critiques of Jefferson and others who signed that document for the massive hypocrisy of creating such a document while owning slaves, the document stands as a testament to the innate human desire to be free of despotic control in our lives.

The world has changed and many countries, if still incompletely and inconsistently, have adopted its principles in their political systems. However, that does not mean all despotic thinking has been eliminated. Most of us come into this world with a long list of “Cant’s” before we ever have the chance to try our “Cans.”

For many young parents, good parenting starts with the word no. True enough, there are many perils for the young child. Still, no is not always balanced with yes. Children grow up with a whole list of things they can’t do and little idea what they can do.

Moving onto school, a child is exposed to social norms. Classmates and teachers again have a whole host of “Don’ts” that are enforced by punishment or peer pressure. We’re taught to “fit in” rather than challenge the status quo.

In the adult world, we have work rules and government rules and rules, rules, rules. There are three main coping strategies. There are people who ignore all the rules – even the legitimate ones. There are people who follow all the rules. The situation is easy for these people. They either adhere to everything or reject everything. The rest of us are stuck in the middle.

Unless you were lucky enough to have an enlightened parent, teacher, or mentor somewhere along the way who opened your eyes or life experience woke you up, you likely reach your mid 20s with a massive book of “Can’ts” and “Don’ts” and no playbook for for “Cans.”

This is not generally viewed as a problem by political, religious, or economic establishment. Employees who are compliant, but creative enough to think outside the box once in a while are sought. In the religious and political spheres, compliance to “the party line” is generally seen as a positive.

So, what’s the problem? The problem is you weren’t born here to live by someone else’s rule book. You were born to be a unique person contributing your unique perspective to the forward movement of this civilization. Mindless compliance, while good for the business of the world, is not good for you.

You’re not the anarchist saying, “Burn it all down.” You’re also not the person asking the teacher if she can repeat her last sentence so you can get it down in your notes exactly as she said it.

You are YOU. You are here to break some normals and do amazing things. You can’t do that by following the rule book. Following that rule book leaves many, many people uninspired and plodding along to the next weekend or vacation. It leaves them watching mindless hours of conformity-driven entertainment instead of creating their own path through the world.

Power hack: If you agree this is you to some extent, what can you do to stop the rule book from ruling your life?

  1. Wake up – I know, I know. Everyone says that. What I mean is wake up to the fact that there IS a rule book. You’ve been thoroughly conditioned to follow it your entire life. The first step to freedom is to see the chains.
  2. Stop following the herd – You’ve probably heard the saying, “There’s safety in numbers.” That doesn’t apply to the herd of humans moving along in general compliance to the rule book. They don’t know where they’re going philosophically, spiritually, or financially. If you follow them, you won’t either.
  3. Challenge the status quo – The first two are passive steps. This is the first one that forces you to openly step out and step up and declare you’re seeking a different world that the one the rule book lead to. Don’t just challenge everything. That’s another kind of conformity. Get conscious about how HOW challenge the system and WHY you challenge the system.
  4. Find like-minded people – It may feel as though you’re the “only one” doing this. You look around and see many people in the rule book’s trance. I assure you there are others like you. Find them and work together to create a world and life beyond the rule book.
  5. Guiding principles – Be sure to support your search with an ethical/moral framework. I’m not suggesting replacing one rule book with another. I am suggesting that there are sensible universal principles such as do no harm or give everyone else the same freedom you seek, that provide a compass for your actions and prevent them from becoming merely self-serving.
  6. Lead – The best kind of learning and enlightenment is the kind that is passed along. Help others wake up and start the process. Help push the world in ways that free everyone from the rule book and create a “next-level” society that everyone can enjoy – one where every single human being on this planet is allowed and encouraged to pursue his or her greatness and contribute to the advancement of our civilization to the next level.

These bullet points don’t begin to explain the depth of the journey. Some of you are reading this and realizing you’re already on it. Some of you have known this was true for a long time, but the gravity of the system is strong.

Just as you learned to ride a bike with training wheels, the rule book provides some minimalist, collective grounding to build a civilization upon. However, we are ready to lose those training wheels. You are ready to lose those training wheels!

I think each and every one of you is amazing! What you see in the media every day – the conflict and chaos – is a view backwards into the world the rule book has created. A different future awaits. You thought you were waiting on your dreams. It turns out your dreams are waiting on you.

Ray
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