The Why Me Syndrome

hagar_why_me

Back in the day, I used to enjoy reading the newspaper cartoons. One I often read was Hagar the Horrible. Above is one of the most memorable cartoons I ever read. For many years, I kept this posted in various places to remind me that there was nothing special or unique about my challenges.

It happens to all of us; that moment when it’s not just raining it’s pouring. We think we can’t handle one more upset, one more hurdle, one more person cutting us off in traffic. Literally or figuratively, we look to the sky and shout, “Why me?”

It’s unlikely we’ll get the immediate and direct response Hagar receives in the cartoon. Instead, many people begin to see this as a frustrating pattern in their lives. “Why do I always meet the wrong guys?” “Why do people always cut me off in traffic?” “Why can’t I just get a break?”

The next time you’re thinking these thoughts or feeling these feelings I’d encourage you to consider something. You’re not uniquely oppressed by the universe. There’s no massive force with the sole and conscious goal to make your life miserable. And, you’re not alone.

These situations are part of our human experience and they happen to everyone of us. Why does it seem it’s always you? Because you’re always, every single time, present when it happens to you. You’re not there most of the time when it’s happening to others.

That guy who cut you off in traffic is going through it too. In fact, he might have cut you off, not because he wanted to make your life miserable, but because he’s distracted by worries about a layoff or a sick family member. He’s probably also thinking, “Why does this always happen to me?”

If we can gain perspective and get above these situations, we may even develop the ability to laugh at them and move on with our lives unscarred.

Follow your bliss. Experience your bliss. Become your bliss.

Ray

Ray Davis is an author, founder of The Affirmation Spot, and co-founder of 6 Sense Media. For tons more motivational content, please visit the TAS website and Youtube channel.

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Judging Others

A friend of mine on Facebook posed a question about whether the concern about judging others, a relatively recent human ethic, had any value or whether judging could even be avoided. Here was my reply.

Practically speaking, it’s impossible not to judge things. I used to tick mark the number of times each day I did it and it was many. That process did make me more aware and reflective about it. Our minds seem hard-wired to judge, evaluate, and compare. It’s the way this tendency is so easily manipulated and the ready access to a place to “shout” those judgments that has made us a coarser society.

That said, this is an area we could all work on. I think there is a valuable ethic to be had here. The genesis of that ethic is the dilemma eloquently posed by Jesus. “Let be who is without sin cast the first stone.”

What I’ve noted over time is that hypocrisy and a lack of compassion are often huge components of judgment. That’s what Jesus was saying. Who among you has moral standing to judge someone else?

Tolstoy wrote, “Everyone thinks about changing the world, but no one thinks about changing himself.”

Judgement, especially overt judgment, is often about deflection and dereliction of the one duty we have in this life….to better the mind and the heart we occupy.

Not judging at all may be beyond us. Judging less harshly, with compassion, and an understanding of the places we have fallen short may be the goal to aspire to.

Follow your bliss. Experience your bliss. Become your bliss.

Ray

Ray Davis is an author, founder of The Affirmation Spot, and co-founder of 6 Sense Media.

His current latest novel is Anunnaki Awakening: Revelation – order your signed copy today at AATrilogy.com – founder of The Affirmation Spot and an advocate for the potential of the human race. He’s life-long history buff and holds a B.S. in History Education. He’s always been fascinated by alternative views of history.

anunnaki_cover_full_colorAnunnaki Awakening: Revelation is turning heads and opening minds. Humanity’s past is checkered, secret, and dangerous.