The Trust/Fear Cycle – The Affirmation Spot for Wednesday October 27, 2010

My Thought for Today:

“Fear consumes us unless and until we give in completely to trust.”

Let me ask you a question. What makes it hard for you to trust other people? Take a moment and think about the reasons you have a hard time trusting people? Come up with a few reasons before you continue reading.

I’m guessing that if you examine your reasons, they center around past hurts and the fear of feeling that way again. Maybe you feel others will take advantage of you or you have even experienced others taking advantage of you in the past. Maybe you fear looking foolish by “putting yourself out there” only to have someone betray you. These are all valid reasons to fear trusting.

Let me ask you this. What steps – mental or even physical – do you take in your life to avoid having to trust others for fear of being hurt or being taken advantage of? Think about how you feel when you are asked to trust. Think about how you respond when asked to trust. Now ask yourself why you feel that way?

Do you put up walls or even aggressively push people away? Do you believe you are doing this “protect yourself”?

Now step outside of yourself and focus on the other person who is considering the possibility of having to trust you. Is it possible he or she has also had past hurts? Has also learned defense mechanisms to avoid or limit exposure in a trusting relationship?

Perhaps you have both been hurt in the past and would have no intention of hurting the other. However, your past conditioning prevents you from finding out because you have shields up. Instead of experiencing and growing trust, you both do things that continue to reinforce your belief that trusting others in dangerous. You wind up hurting each other simply due to a failure to see this situation as unique and to be authentically you.

Now expand this scenario to every relationship in your life. In fact, extend it to all the relationships on this planet – individual, ethnic, national, political, religious. Too often, we are operating with our trust shields up for fear of being hurt.

How much pain, bloodshed, and unhappiness do you suppose this mindset creates on our planet – not to mention your life – every day?

“But, I have been hurt,” you argue. You’re right. You have. That person you want relationship with has as well. So has that other ethnic group, religion, or political party. Can you not see their pain through your own?

We have all been hurt, not because we trust too much, but because we trust too little. We are aggressive and defensive in an attempt to protect ourselves when simply seeing each situaion as fresh and unique could lead to a different outcome. When being our authentic selves instead of our on-guard selves could create new connections and possbilities. When remembering our common humanity and acknowledging our common fears could breakdown desperate paradigms and transform this world.

So, what is the answer? How do we change it? Well, none of us can do the work of changing this situation for others. We can only be cognizant of the ways we contribute to it in our own lives and strive to do better.

Maybe, just maybe, we will find that when we drop our shields and trust more others will be willing to do the same.

Stay inspired!

Ray

Thank you for sharing this page with a friend.

Add to DeliciousAdd to DiggAdd to FaceBookAdd to Google BookmarkAdd to MySpaceAdd to RedditAdd to StumbleUponAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Twitter

Advertisements

The Opportunity of A Forever – The Affirmation Spot for Thursday February 28, 2008


Thank you for visiting The Affirmation Spot. Your comments on the blog or this article are always welcome. Please click here to comment on today’s blog.




ray_launchpad.jpgWhat Ray’s reading right now:

A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose (Oprah’s Book Club, Selection 61)




March Affirmation Sale!

Beginning February 28 Download any two affirmations during March from The Affirmation Spot.com and get a third affirmation free. There are no limits! You can download 20 and get 10 free. Simply type the word “blog” into the coupon field at checkout. Thanks for getting your audio affirmations at The Affirmation Spot!



poet_pen_rs.jpgThis poem is an affirmation. I wrote this poem in 1994 as an expression of love for a certain person. However, as time passed, I realized that this poem can actually apply either to a romantic connection or to love in the broader sense.

“Opportunity” dares you to believe in love, trust in love, and to unabashedly share it with a special someone or with the world. It asks the eternal question of one who might procrastinate in sharing the love, “If not now, when?”

Read it and share it in the spirit that it speaks to you.



“The Opportunity of a Forever”

 Never before in time and space
has this moment come about.
Never shall it come again.
Our lives are built on here and now.


Only fools would let this pass
without feeling what we feel.
Let us be calm and let us be bold;
face the fears before which we kneel.


If it’s our past that holds us back,
then let us create a new future.
One where joy fills our hearts
and these feelings of ours mature.


If it is failure we most fear,
then let us be filled with trust.
Knowing within that nothing is lost
by honestly expressing our love



Ray Davis
Copyright 1994




Be peaceful Be prosperous!


Ray

The Affirmation Spot.com

Spread the word about this blog entry:

    Health Blogs - BlogCatalog Blog Directory Blog Directory & Search engine Bloglisting.net - The internets fastest growing blog directory Add to Technorati Favorites
    add to del.icio.usAdd to Delicious Digg it Digg It

Link to this blog entry:
The tracback url for this blog is: https://theaffirmationspot.wordpress.com/2008/02/28/the-opportunity-of-a-forever-the-affirmation-spot-for-thursday-february-28-2008





Remember Your Power – The Affirmation Spot for Monday February 11, 2008


Thank you for visiting The Affirmation Spot. Your comments on the blog or this article are always welcome. Please click here to comment on today’s blog.




copy-of-ray_hawaii1.jpgWhat Ray’s reading right now:

A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose (Oprah’s Book Club, Selection 61)





Today’s affirmation is:


“The power that lies within me moves mountains and commands the seas.”


jesus_rs.jpgJesus stands alone in human history in one indisputable regard. An overwhelming majority of the human population reveres him in one way or another. For many, he is their lord and savior. For at least as many others, he is considered a great teacher or prophet. He is nearly universally accepted as one of great teachers.

Today’s blog is not about debating what Jesus represents to you. It is about asking you, revere him how you will, to look at something he said about you and accept that it is true. He said you probably have a deficit when it comes to faith, belief, and trust about how this universe works and about your capaibilities.

Two of my favorite verses in The Bible are Jesus’ statements to his disciples about the power that lies within. Jesus is clear in both instances. The disciples’ inability to create miracles was not due to their lack of power, but to their lack of faith.

mustardseed.jpgMatthew 17:19-20

“Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, ‘Why could we not cast it (a demon) out?’ He said to them, ‘Because of your little faith. For truly I tell you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.”

Luke 17:5-6

“The apostles said to the Lord, ‘Increase our faith!’ The Lord replied. ‘If you had faith the size of a mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you.'”

How’s your faith? You’ve probably got smaller issues to deal with than moving mountains into the sea. Although, some days, your struggles can seem that daunting.

I’m sure we could have a spirited debate, depending on your belief, as to how you access that faith and the power that comes with it. Nonetheless, Jesus clearly states that you have it, if you choose to have it. The price? Simply, belief that you can do it.

The power Jesus attributes to the mustard seed is the power to live in trust and without doubt. The mustard seed, as far as we know, does not have a highly conflicted and intelligent mind feeding it reasons not to believe. It trusts in God or the universe to provide for it. The mustard seed loses itself in the flow of that trust. It lives free of doubt.

Jesus is calling us to lose ourselves in that trust. If we can move beyond the doubt, we can find the power he describes.

It’s always been strange to me; this tendency humans have to see ourselves as less than we are. Why do we so readily accept negatives from the Bible and other sacred writings, but we cannot bring ourselves to believe the positives?

We believe, “I am a sinner.” That’s not a problem. But tell me I can move mountains into the sea? No way! This is just a spiritual example of the same negative self-talk that afflicts us in other aspects of our lives.

“I could never go to college.” “I will never have the relationship I want in my life.” “I am never going to pull out of this depression.”

St. Augustine is famously quoted as saying, “Miracles happen, not in opposition to nature, but in opposition to what we know of nature.”

We don’t believe we can move the mountain or go to college because they defy our belief quotient. That is what we believe “we know of nature”. And so, says Jesus, “You’re right.” Those miracles will not happen as long as that is our mindset. If we are looking for miracles – large or small – we must be willing to trust in what seems “in opposition” to nature. 

I’m going to leave it to you to decide how much stock you want to put in Jesus’ words. You can choose to keep believing the negative thoughts that flow through your mind, limiting your life. Or, you can choose to believe that anything is possible and that, with the faith of a mustard seed, you can make it happen!

Let me just encourage you when life seems difficult to always remember who you really are.

Be peaceful Be prosperous!

Ray
Visit The Affirmation Spot.com”

Spread the word about this blog entry:

    Health Blogs - BlogCatalog Blog Directory Blog Directory & Search engine Bloglisting.net - The internets fastest growing blog directory Add to Technorati Favorites
    add to del.icio.usAdd to Delicious Digg it Digg It

Link to this blog entry:
The tracback url for this blog is: https://theaffirmationspot.wordpress.com/2008/02/11/remember-your-power-the-affirmation-spot-for-monday-february-11-2008/2008/