The Power of Looking People in the Eye

I’ve been on about a ten year mission to test an idea. I believe that when we take a moment to make eye contact with others, we see their humanity and remind them of ours.

It doesn’t work 100 percent of time. Some people will refuse or avoid making eye contact. Others will look away and then glance to see if you’re making eye contact.

In that moment when it happens, I often observe a breath and a smile from the other person. There’s something reassuring in knowing someone actually sees you. Ive seen it instantly change someone’s mood and shift conversation beyond surface pleasantries.

Many of us conduct five, 10, 50 interactions a day. There’s a tendency these exchanges to be mechanical an not very human. The checkout clerk at the grocery store and you put on your employee and customer role masks and conduct the transaction.

It’s enough to make us forget we’re engaged with another complex human being with a whole life beyond this transaction. It can allow us to see the line of customers as just a number or the checkout clerk as someone with the job to satisfy me and to let them have it if they don’t.

I take a different strategy. I ask them how their day’s going in a way that sounds like I care. I accept that the store, the restaurant, the bank can make errors and I’m prepared to give them the grace and the space to fix it.

Finally, I always close the transaction with a smile, eye contact, and a sincere thank you. Even if all they did is ring up two items. People aren’t thanked enough for what they do. They aren’t smiled at enough. They aren’t connected with the eyes enough.

We live in a world that seems to strip our humanity and steal the connections that make us all human.

This is one small way rehumanize each other in small doses throughout the day.

Wherever you are on your journey today, be proud of the progress you’re making.

Ray

Before You Get Out of Bed…or Soon After

Good morning, my friends. The American TV personality John Tesh shared this on his Facebook feed this morning. I wanted to share it with you. What a simple, fantastic morning routine.

Just in case no one else has reminded you today. YOU are awesome.

Ray

Breathe, Visualize, Smile – The Affirmation Spot for Wednesday December 17, 2008

Today’s Affirmation:

“I am calm and entering an absolute state of peace and relaxation.”
(click the affirmation to hear it in mp3)

It’s Wednesday. The stresses of the work week have been accumulating for three days now. You’ve got fires to put out and deadlines to meet. Take a quick break.

Join me in a little exercise. It takes just two minutes and I guarantee it will bring peace to your day and smile to your face. You can do it right in your cube or office.

man_beach_hphones_rs.jpgI want you to think about the most beautiful place you have ever been. It might be Hawaii, the Caribbean, The Grand Canyon. Anywhere is fine as long as you make sure it is the most beautiful place you’ve ever seen.

OK. Got it? Close your eyes and take a deep breath. For the next 30 seconds, I want to you to completely experience that place. Visualize the sites, hear the sounds, smell the smells…be there.

Great! You probably feel a little better than you did 30 seconds ago. Let’s continue.

Now I want you think about some upcoming event or activity that has you a little nervous. It can be work-related or personal. OK. This time I want you to see yourself performing that task in the most successful way you can imagine. Put aside all your concerns and focus on the absolute best outcome.

sales_yes_rs.jpg Close your eyes again and take another deep breath. For the next 30 seconds, I want you to see yourself “knocking this one out of the park”. Feel the successful outcome. Hear the kudos from colleagues, friends, or family. Be aware of the benefits that will come from this success. Enjoy your moment in the limelight.

How are we doing? Are we smiling yet? Feeling more confident and relaxed?

Last one. I want you to think about the one person in this world that you love the most. I want you to experience the feelings you feel when you get to spend an entire day uninterrupted with that person.

young_woman_reddress1.jpgClose your eyes, deep breath…you know the routine. Feel the feelings you feel when you are around this person. Let those wonderful feelings fill your heart, stir in your gut, or well in your eyes. Let the warmth you feel inside spread to the rest of your body. Remember the good times you’ve spent together. That time at the beach…the time you got caught in the rain…the time you painted the house…whatever good memories come up.

Open your eyes. I’ll bet you feel happier, more relaxed, and that a smile has come to your face. Now, get on with your day and keep these feelings with you no matter what you face.

Stay inspired!

Ray

Two-Minute Vacation – The Affirmation Spot for Wednesday November 14, 2007

Wednesday greetings,

It’s Wednesday. The stresses of the work week have been accumulating for three days now. You’ve got fires to put out and deadlines to meet. Take a quick break.

Join me in a little exercise. It takes just two minutes and I guarantee it will bring peace to your day and smile to your face.  You can do it right in your cube or office.

man_beach_hphones_rs.jpgI want you to think about the most beautiful place you have ever been. It might be Hawaii, the Caribbean, The Grand Canyon. Anywhere is fine as long as you make sure it is the most beautiful place you’ve ever seen.

OK. Got it? Close your eyes and take a deep breath. For the next 30 seconds, I want to you to completely experience that place. Visualize the sites, hear the sounds, smell the smells…be there.

Great! You probably feel a little better than you did 30 seconds ago. Let’s continue.

Now I want you think about some upcoming event or activity that has you a little nervous. It can be work-related or personal. OK. This time I want you to see yourself performing that task in the most successful way you can imagine. Put aside all your concerns and focus on the absolute best outcome.

sales_yes_rs.jpg Close your eyes again and take another deep breath. For the next 30 seconds, I want you to see yourself “knocking this one out of the park”.  Feel the successful outcome. Hear the kudos from colleagues, friends, or family. Be aware of the benefits that will come from this success. Enjoy your moment in the limelight.

How are we doing? Are we smiling yet? Feeling more confident and relaxed?

Last one. I want you to think about the one person in this world that you love the most. I want you to experience the feelings you feel when you get to spend an entire day uninterrupted with that person.

young_woman_reddress1.jpgClose your eyes, deep breath…you know the routine. Feel the feelings you feel when you are around this person. Let those wonderful feelings fill your heart, stir in your gut, or well in your eyes. Let the warmth you feel inside spread to the rest of your body. Remember the good times you’ve spent together. That time at the beach…the time you got caught in the rain…the time you painted the house…whatever good memories come up.

Open your eyes. I’ll bet you feel happier, more relaxed, and that a smile has come to your face. Now, get on with your day and keep these feelings with you no matter what you face.

Have a peaceful and productive Wednesday!

Ray

Here are the Top 10 affirmation downloads at The Affirmation Spot for the week of Friday November 2 through Thursday November 8. Thank you!

#1 Wealth Creating Ideas
#2 Wonderful World
#3 Mind, Body, Spirit, Beautiful
#4 Part of the Solution
#5 Persistance and Enthusiasm Create Sales Success
#6 Thrive on Pressure Situations
#7 Great Writer Within
#8 Good to My Body
#9 Believe in My Selling Abilities
#10 Attracting the Perfect Mate

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