365 Days to a Better You – Day 10

Be a coach, not a critic.

There’s no doubt that we all need a kick in the pants from time to time to keep us driven and focused. Self-discipline and self-reflection are keys to the pursuit of success and happiness.

Many of us learned in early in life to be our own worst critics. I’m not completely sure of the psychology behind it; whether it’s nature, nurture, or some combination thereof. The thing is many of us allow that inner critic to speak to us and treat us in ways we’d never allow another person to do.

Here’s today’s life hack. Coach yourself up don’t beat yourself up. I want you to fire the inner critic and hire the best coach you can ever have – YOU.

Instead of mindlessly and destructively criticizing yourself to defeat, coach yourself to victory.

To be a good leader, start by leading yourself well. Rather than going into critical mode, try Balanced Feedback.

Ask yourself:

  1. What did I like about what I did?
  2. What would you do differently next time.
  3. Close with an affirmation or a positive pep-talk.

Shush the critic and bring on the coach!

Have a great day, my friends!

Ray

Here’s more tips for giving feedback. Most are easily applicable to self-coaching.

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22 Self-Esteem Affirmations – The Affirmation Spot for Friday October 14, 2011

Today’s Thought:
“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.”

~ Wayne Dyer

There is nothing more important than feeling good. Everything flows from that. In fact, it could be argued that it is the very foundation of happiness and success. Today I am sharing some of the self-esteem affirmations I’ve written for people over time.

  1. My beauty flows from inside to out. As I recognize my inner beauty, my outer beauty blossoms!
  2. I am a being of immense power and majesty!
  3. To see the beauty I want to see in the world, I must first see it in me. Today I see it clearly!
  4. Those-told me I was unworthy were wrong. I AM worthy. More sure of it today than ever before.
  5. I unconditionally love and respect myself in every way.
  6. I am the best thing that has ever happened to me. I am glad to be who I am!
  7. Today I make a bold statement. The world deserves the real me and today it gets me.
  8. Being who I am is a blessing and a rush. There’s no one else I’d rather be!
  9. I am a unique and worthy person. I require no more justification than that to be exactly who I am.
  10. I was taught to be less than. Today I claim my power!
  11. I am beautiful in mind. I am beautiful in body. I am beautiful in spirit.
  12. I refuse to settle for less than I deserve in my relationships. I deserve the best!
  13. The more I love and appreciate myself, the more beautiful I become.
  14. Being me is a sacred honor and today I treat it that way!
  15. Today I am freeing myself from the opinions of others and empowering me to me!
  16. Today I am just me; no masks and no excuses. Simply me!
  17. As sure as the river runs to the sea, I am becoming the ideal me!
  18. Awesome things happen for me when I keep my promises to myself and today I do!
  19. I may not be perfect, but I have ALWAYS been awesome!
  20. I was taught I can’t, but today I KNOW I CAN!
  21. Today and every day, I am a miracle in motion!
  22. I am bigger than any doubt, bolder than any fear, and stronger any obstacle!

Follow your bliss! Experience your bliss! Become your bliss!

Ray

Ray Davis is the Founder of The Affirmation Spot and focuses on empowering minds to think positively, achieve goals, and live dreams. He is author of the ebook The Power to Be You and the forthcoming The Power to Be You 2: 1001 Power Thoughts for Daily Life.

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What If 180 – The Affirmation Spot for Wednesday April 14, 2010

Today’s Thought:

What if you made all the difference in the world? Well, get comfortable with that because you do!”


I often receive emails from people looking for simple things they can do in their every day life to be more positive. Many of us spend unnecessary time and energy catastrophizing events that never happen. The key phrase, and I’ll bet you’ve said it or thought it at least once today, is what if.

Usually the scenario sounds something like this.

  • I want to ask him or her out, but what if…
  • I want to apply for that manager job, but what if…
  • I want to take a nice vacation, but what if…
  • I want to feel happy, but what if…

This is a classic example of self-talk. We have these thoughts all day long. A key to whether or not you’re achieving a positive mindset is what follows the what if. Play the scenario in your mind right now. What normally follows what if – something positive or something negative?

You might need a What If 180. That is, if your thoughts are negative, you might want to try consciously turning them 180 degrees to something positive.

You can change statements like:

“I want to apply for that manager job, but what if I don’t get it and I feel like a loser?”

to

“I want to apply for that manager job, and what if I’m exactly who they are looking for?”

Why assume the worst instead of the best? Is the worst any more likely – really? Of course not! As you catch yourself doing this and consciously doing a What If 180, you find that the positive becomes your default state of mind.

Once you have transformed the negative scenario into a positive scenario you can transform the question into an affirmation.

“I want to apply for that manager job and I AM exactly who they are looking for!”

One other tip. You notice I changed the word “but” to the word “and”. The word “but” has been shown to psychologically negate the previous phrase.

You’ve received one of those compliments. “You’re a great baksetball player, but…” “I love you, but….” Try to eliminate those buts from your self-talk too. When you use the but you’re really saying, “I want to feel happy, but I WON’T”.

Start your What If 180s today. Make a game of it. You’ll have a little laugh at your negative self-talk and more importantly you’ll change it.

Stay inspired!

Ray

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Believe…Achieve – The Affirmation Spot for Thursday February 24, 2010

Today’s Affirmation:
A better me, a better life lies just on the other side of my belief in it!

Here is someone very young who really gets it. She’s as good as any motivational speakers you’ll pay to hear. Listen to what she has to say because she is right on with her advice. Fantastic job!

Stay inspired!

Ray

2010 Affirmation

“2010 is MY year! This is the year I break free! This is the year I break through! This is the year I break out!”