5 Ways to Stop Comparing Yourself with Others

We know comparing ourselves to other people is generally not a positive experience. We often compare are ourselves to people who have what we want, look like we want to, or have another attribute that creates our longing to be them or be like them.

Comparison is the death of originality and a constant hit to your self-esteem. Your journey is about you. Their journey is about them. Always remember it.

Here are 5 quick tips for stopping the comparison and loving your Journey more than ever.

  1. Honor your journey – respect the integrity and the value of your journey. You must believe you are here for an important purpose to achieve amazing things.
  2. They have challenges too – what you see when your compare yourself to others is them at their best and you as a distant. You don’t see the hard work or hardship in their journey that got them where they are.
  3. They did it. You can too – they earned your envy and adoration by staying true their path. That is how you will achieve your full potential too.
  4. Let them inspire – comparison may be unhealthy, but inspiration is not. Let their story inspire you to be you not them.
  5. There is only ONE YOU – in all of time and space, there’s no other you. You’re one in a trillion! You’re your own light. You need not bask in someone else’s.

Oh, and by the way, just in case no one else has reminded you today, you are awesome!

Ray

There Is Enough Affirmations

The world has taken a lot out of us in the past few weeks. It’s easy lose your mojo, get down, and start believing in all the negativity. It’s easy to start feeling like you lack the ability to face what’s next. You have the power to face whatever is next. You just need to remember you’re enough and there is enough of all the good things in life. These affirmations will remind you. When you believe it, you’ll see it.

The Affirmations:
1) There is enough.
2) There is always enough.
3) There is enough for me.
4) There is enough for everyone.
5) There is enough money to go around.
6) There is enough time to go around.
7) There is joy to go around.
8) There is enough love to go around.
9) There is enough health to go around.
10) There is enough kindness to go around.
11) There is enough peace to go around.
12) There is always enough freedom to go around.
13) I am always enough.

Ray

Sample and download the audio for these affirmations from the TAS MP3 Downloads Library. Always have these affirmations with you wherever you go.

Beyond the Fear of Failure – Day 293 of 365 Days to a Better You

Today’s Thought

“The fear of failure is the shortest route to it.”
~ Ray Davis

Success writer John C. Maxwell, in his book Failing Forward: Turning Mistakes into Stepping Stones for Success (Amazon Link), says the following.

“Failure is an inside job. So is success. If you want to achieve, you have to win the war in your thinking first. You can’t let the failure outside you get inside you.”

I was recently reading an article where they were comparing Japanese and American students’ approaches to learning. The writer pointed out that it is not uncommon to see a Japanese student fail numerous times on his or her way to learning something successfully. In Japan, there is no stigma to failing along the road to success. It is an expected and accepted part of the learning process.

In the United States, we attach a tremendous amount of stigma to failing. So much so that American students are generally not willing to go through the process of failing to learn. American students tend to focus their attention on subjects where they can be successful and shy away from subjects where failure might be involved.

So instead of going through the failure to learn process we often hear our children say things like, “I hate math.” They don’t really mean that they have something personal against math. What they are saying is, “I would have to fail too many times to get math and I’m not willing to do it.”

I’m not here to say that one nation’s approach to learning is superior. However, this fear of failing extends beyond school and impacts our adult life as well. Many people have big dreams or goals they would like to accomplish, but, again, they are still not willing feel the sting of failure to get there. Instead, they learn to play it safe just as their children do with the math.

That’s where my little aphorism at the top comes in. When fear failure so much that we are unwilling to try, unwilling to risk learning new things and failing a little; we cannot achieve our goals and dreams. All because of the stigma of failure.

Recondition yourself to overcome your fear of failure. In an outstanding article, Olimpio Zapanta offers five steps for overcoming the fear of failure.

  1. Divorce failure from your self-esteem.
  2. Failure is not all bad. It can be a great teacher.
  3. Failure and success are intimately linked – failure is often a prerequisite for success.
  4. Successful people fail constantly. That’s how they succeed.
  5. Everything doesn’t have to be perfect before you go for it.

With these five great steps and determination, don’t let the fear of failure sidetrack you from your destiny! Remember that “A Success” is what we call someone who had the courage to persist through failures.

Success and failure are not the result of circumstances. They are not the result of intelligence or luck. All of these things can contribute, but the overwhelming predictor of success is the refusal to give up. Your dreams await. They may be eleven steps away. Don’t called it a failure on step 9.

Follow your bliss! Experience your bliss! Become your bliss!

Ray

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Are You Choosing Your Paradigms – Day 230 of 365 Days to a Better You

Do you create your own paradigms or are you a tenant farmer for someone eles’s paradigms? What do I mean?

I’ve noted that there are three kinds of people when it comes to paradigms.

  1. Buyers – There are people who buy completely into their inherited cultural paradigms. Their country is the best. Their inherited religion is the best. Their inherited political party is the best, etc. They’ve never considered another point of view for a second or questioned their own assumptions.
  2. Rejectors – There are people who have thought a little more about it. Their solution is to completely reject every inherited paradigm and believe something as totally opposite as they can find.
  3. Seekers – There is a third group that has thought more deeply than either of the other two. It doesn’t mean they’re more correct than the other two. It simply means they’ve put their inherited paradigms to the test rather merely accepting them at face value. They’ve avoided or transcended the impulse to simply reject them. They’ve taken what works through testing and applied that to their life. They’ve staked out their own ground, their own paradigm.

I’m not judging any of the groups. Each can find their way in this world. Experience tells me these groups break down about 75 percent, 20 percent, five percent respectively.

The easiest road is to be the buyer. You get plenty of emotional support and reinforcement in your circle for making that choice and staying true to it. You are, though, what I called above a tenant farmer living on ideas decided upon by others for you.

It’s harder to break free from the gravity of the buyer impulse and become a rejector. You set yourself up for social ostracism and lack of understanding from family and friends in the buyer category. You feel like a rebel, but you still haven’t chosen anything. You’ve only wholesale rejected the buyers in your culture. Thus, your paradigm is still decided by theirs because you’re going to reject it whatever it is.

Seekers are people who saw through the provincialism of the buyer mindset. No one group has all the good ideas. They probably passed through a rejector stage where they used rejection to break free. Eventually, though, they evolved to a thought-space of their own choosing. It was born from experience, trial and error, and insight.

Seekers may not be enlightened beings yet, but they have taken the two critical steps on that road.

So, I ask you again. Do you create your own paradigms or are you a tenant farmer for someone eles’s paradigms?

I deeply appreciate you stopping by and spending part of your day on this blog. You’re awesome!

Find your bliss. Experience your bliss. Become your bliss.

Ray

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Use I AM Wisely – Day 210 of 365 Days to a Better You

You likely say the phrase I AM or it’s shortened version I’m 50-100 times a day. And if you count the times you think them, and that’s equally impactful, it’s several multiples of that number.

No two words are more powerful and there’s something else you should know. Subconsciously, every time you say them, you’re creating an equation where what you say next is equal to I AM.

This is why they are the most common and powerful opening to affirmations. What equations are you burning into you’re subconscious?

  • I am a failure.
  • I’m always late.
  • I am bad at tests.
  • I am a bad parent.
  • I am never going to…

You get the idea. More than likely it’s a mix of positive and negative, but you often use the negative I AMs to systematically best yourself down. Stop it! Get conscious about it. Catch yourself doing that and correct it.

One great way to use your I AMs to maximum positive effect is to consciously turn them into affirmations. Drown out the negative I AMs with a tsunami of positive ones.

Make the power of that subconscious self-equation machine work FOR you.

Love you all and I’ll talk to you again tomorrow.

Ray

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