What Would You Say? – The Affirmation Spot for Wednesday March 3, 2010

Today’s Affirmation:

I CAN! YOU CAN! WE CAN!

A good friend comes to you. He is going through a bad stretch at work. He shares some doubt in his ability and in his career choice. He says he feels drawn to another career, but he is afraid to take the risk. He wants someone to tell him he’s not crazy to pursue his dream.

What would you say? You’re a great friend. You’d probably have some insightful advice. Maybe you’d reassure him that he is capable of succeeding in his current career and that things will improve. Maybe you’d encourage him to do what is necessary to pursue that dream.

What wouldn’t you say? You wouldn’t tell your friend he’s a loser. You wouldn’t tell your friend he should get real, buck it up and get over it.

Your daughter comes to you and expresses doubt that she will ever find the right man for her. Her confidence is shaken by a recent relationship. She is really down on herself. She wonders out loud if anyone will ever want to be with her.

What would you say? You’re a great parent. You’d probably remind your daughter of all the great qualities she possesses. You’d tell her there are a lot of great guys out there and she will find the one who is right for her.

What wouldn’t you say? You wouldn’t tell your daughter that she’ll never find a man. You wouldn’t point out every her every flaw. You wouldn’t say things to further damage her confidence.

Yes, you’re a great friend and a great parent. You’d support your friend. You’d support your daughter.

Why would you do less for yourself?

You’re great a giving good advice and showing support for others. Be willing to do the same for yourself! Take your own advice. Give yourself the support you deserve with your self-talk. Give the beat yourself up routine a rest. Others in your life benefit from your wisdom, compassion, and love. Don’t deny it to yourself.

Stay inspired!

Ray

2010 Affirmation

“2010 is MY year! This is my year to break free! This is my year to break through! This is my year to break out!”

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14 Mothers’ Day Affirmations – The Affirmation Spot for Sunday May 10, 2009

Today’s affirmation is:

“This year I am absolutely committed to being the person I came here to be!” (Click to download this affirmation in MP3 audio)

Happy Mothers’ Day. Here are few brand new affirmations about motherhood written especially for Mothers’ Day.

  1. “I am a great mom, I am a great mom, I am a great mom and I get better and better each and every day.”
  2. “Today I am the best mom I have ever been!”
  3. “I am a great mother! My kids are amazing people!”
  4. “I am a great mother! Today I celebrate my success as a parent!
  5. “Today and everyday I honor the role of mothers in our culture.”
  6. “I am blessed with a beautiful and healthy family.”
  7. “My children may not appreciate me now, but one day they will understand all I have done for them!”
  8. “As a mother, I am at the top of my game!”
  9. “As my children reach maturity, I easily transition from controller to wise guide.”
  10. “I give my children the gifts of life and opportunity!”
  11. “I am a great mother. My children are lucky to have me!”
  12. “Today and every day, I show love respect for my mother.”
  13. “Today I feel like a successful mom and I AM!”
  14. “I am a great mother! I listen to my children and meet their needs while always remaining the mom!”

Stay inspired!

Ray

Affirmations: Passive Listening – The Affirmation Spot for Friday March 28, 2008

Today’s featured affirmation is:

“Learning helps me achieve my goals in life.” (repeats 6 times)
“Learning helps you achieve your goals in life.” (repeats 6 times)
Hear an audio mp3 version of this affirmation right now.


multi.jpgLet’s face it. You live in a multi-tasking rich world. You juggle multiple projects at work or school. You have to get the kids to soccer practice and dance practice on Tuesdays and Thursdays and Tae Kwon Do on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Or is it the other way around? You care for your aging parents. You take the dog for a walk. You try to be a part of your community.

Somewhere in the middle of all of that you try to find time to better yourself and understand the meaning of this crazy world.

I understand. I live that life too. That is why I started The Affirmation Spot. I’ve written, recorded, and used audio affirmations for more than 15 years.  The reason I preferred audio affirmations over saying them or reading them is because I could listen to them wherever and whenever I wanted. With the advent of digital media that is more true than ever.

Over the years, I’ve found that passive listening is very effective. You’ve had the experience of hearing a song or a commercial many  times – without paying conscious attention – and suddenly one day you’re singing the song or saying the words to the commercial. That’s the result of passive listening. You have unconsciously learned it through repetition. That’s why advertisers run the same commercial on a radio station 20 times a day. That’s why they play Top 40 songs over and over. It’s to unconsciously put them into your head. Passive listening is powerful!

You can use your affirmations the same way. Put your headphones on and listen while you work or play them in the car on the way to Tae Kwon Do. You don’t have to really be listening to get the benefit. Your mind is absorbing them. Sometimes it’s even better than conscious listening because you’re not really questioning as much.

Pretty soon you’ll find yourself saying the positive words to an affirmation when a negative situation arises because, like the song, you have unconsciously absorbed it. Unlike the song, though, it brings real benefit to your life.

Be positive Be peaceful Be prosperous!

Ray

The Peaceful Divorce Advocate – The Affirmation Spot for Saturday January 12, 2008

The Affirmation Spot - Intelligent Optimism for the Real World.


Today’s affirmation is:

“Even as my marriage splits, I am finding ways to keep my life and my family together.”

There is always a positive side to every experience we have in life. Even the most stressful situations can be made better when we make empowered choices. Divorce, unfortunately, is pandemic in our society. While no one wants to advocate divorce, it is an unfortunate fact of life.

The adversarial legal system makes a bad situation worse. It is not designed to help the parting couple in their future role as partners in raising their children. In fact, it is designed to create adversity and animosity not beneficial to that process.

The peaceful divorce movement has grown up as a response to that problem. It offers an alternative to the angst of the traditional system. It provides many broken families hope for a peaceful, productive future. 

Today The Affirmation Spot welcomes an article from guest contributor and peaceful divorce advocate, Belinda Rachman Esq.

The Last Thing You Need Is A Divorce Lawyer!

belinda.gifWhy You Should Consider A Cooperative Divorce

The divorce process is so complicated most people just don’t want to deal with it on their own. Traditionally the process of getting a divorce has involved hiring lawyers, going to court and letting a judge or the lawyers decide and/or negotiate the outcome. The couple plays the most passive role in the legal drama. Because the decisions are coming from above instead of the couple themselves fashioning a result, it is often difficult for the couple to comfortably live with the final outcome.

Most people resent solutions that are imposed on them. It is natural that individuals are more satisfied when they get to decide for themselves instead of being told what to do. When the couple is more actively involved in creating the terms of their own divorce instead of having to put up with the “one size fits all” solution that the legal process gives them, there is a better fit and more of a commitment to make it work.

So here is the most important question, does it make sense to avoid the adversarial system for your divorce? If keeping out of court and saving money on legal fees while protecting your assets and co-parenting relationship sounds good to you, then you really ought to explore mediation. I am not saying mediation is for everyone, but if the two of you are decent people who just want out, no one is trying to hurt the other one and both of you are honest and reliable about money with enough honor to keep your word, then you are the perfect client for mediation.

What A Mediator Does

The attorney who acts as mediator does not represent either party but acts as a neutral facilitator who is a resource for both. The couple can ask the attorney/mediator legal questions and receive help in arriving at all the terms of their divorce. The mediator drafts the marital settlement agreement, which is the document that is attached to the Judgment. The judge signs the agreement without the couple ever going to court and the divorce becomes final 6 months from the day the initial papers were filed and served. When the mediator has a powerful intention to complete the divorce process instead of dragging it out, the results are miraculous.

How Much Does Mediation Cost?

Mediator fees vary depending on location and expertise so call around to make sure you are fully informed. In my own practice the whole process, on average, takes between 4-7 hours but there is certain homework that must be done prior to working with me. It is important to know the mediator’s success rate and how many meetings it usually takes. Mediation is a tiny fraction of the cost of litigation. In California where the average cost of a divorce is $20,000 per side, mediation will always be less. The financial benefits of mediation are obvious but more importantly, you will be comfortable enough with your spouse to co-parent your children. This is the best gift you can give to your children. I ought to know, I was one of those kids caught in the middle. This is why I do what I do. Using mediation instead of litigation brings some sanity back into the divorce process because the adversarial system destroys families. So ask yourself, what kind of divorce do you want? Peaceful divorce is an idea whose time has come.

How To Choose A Mediator

So let’s assume you want to proceed with mediation. You want to make sure the mediator you use has a great track record. The most important thing you want to know is how many couples have they worked with and what percentage settled. Once you find that out you can compare price, length of time it takes and other factors like personality and sex of the mediator before you make up your mind. The important thing is to have all the information you need to make an informed decision. Remember you only get one chance to have a “good divorce” so don’t go down the wrong road because you won’t like the destination.

Is Mediation Right For You

Divorce mediation works best with honest people who are not hiding assets and just want a result that is fair. Most couples who are in the initial stages of thinking about getting a divorce would do well to meet with a divorce mediator as opposed to hiring their own attorneys. You only get one chance at getting a divorce without acrimony. Once you start to go down that adversarial road, it is that much harder to get back to a place where you can function comfortably as co-parents.

Ms. Rachman has been a family law attorney since 1996 and is convinced our adversarial legal system destroys families. She left a successful adversarial law practice and now only does divorce mediation. To find out more information on how mediation differs from litigation, go to http://www.divorce-inaday.com.

Thank you, Belinda for your commitment to helping people in a difficult situation.

Be peaceful Be prosperous!

Ray

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