Cherokee Story of Two Wolves – The Affirmation Spot for Wednesday February 20, 2008



wolves.jpg A friend of mine sent this story to me today. It is so insightful I had to share it. Thank you, Sharon!

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside all people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two “wolves” inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith. ”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”


The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Be peaceful Be positive!


Ray

Visit The Affirmation Spot.com

Spread the word about this blog entry:

    Health Blogs - BlogCatalog Blog Directory Blog Directory & Search engine Bloglisting.net - The internets fastest growing blog directory Add to Technorati Favorites
    add to del.icio.usAdd to Delicious Digg it Digg It

Link to this blog entry:
The tracback url for this blog is: https://theaffirmationspot.wordpress.com/2008/02/20/cherokee-story-of-two-wolves-the-affirmation-spot-for-wednesday-february-20-2008/







The Peaceful Divorce Advocate – The Affirmation Spot for Saturday January 12, 2008

The Affirmation Spot - Intelligent Optimism for the Real World.


Today’s affirmation is:

“Even as my marriage splits, I am finding ways to keep my life and my family together.”

There is always a positive side to every experience we have in life. Even the most stressful situations can be made better when we make empowered choices. Divorce, unfortunately, is pandemic in our society. While no one wants to advocate divorce, it is an unfortunate fact of life.

The adversarial legal system makes a bad situation worse. It is not designed to help the parting couple in their future role as partners in raising their children. In fact, it is designed to create adversity and animosity not beneficial to that process.

The peaceful divorce movement has grown up as a response to that problem. It offers an alternative to the angst of the traditional system. It provides many broken families hope for a peaceful, productive future. 

Today The Affirmation Spot welcomes an article from guest contributor and peaceful divorce advocate, Belinda Rachman Esq.

The Last Thing You Need Is A Divorce Lawyer!

belinda.gifWhy You Should Consider A Cooperative Divorce

The divorce process is so complicated most people just don’t want to deal with it on their own. Traditionally the process of getting a divorce has involved hiring lawyers, going to court and letting a judge or the lawyers decide and/or negotiate the outcome. The couple plays the most passive role in the legal drama. Because the decisions are coming from above instead of the couple themselves fashioning a result, it is often difficult for the couple to comfortably live with the final outcome.

Most people resent solutions that are imposed on them. It is natural that individuals are more satisfied when they get to decide for themselves instead of being told what to do. When the couple is more actively involved in creating the terms of their own divorce instead of having to put up with the “one size fits all” solution that the legal process gives them, there is a better fit and more of a commitment to make it work.

So here is the most important question, does it make sense to avoid the adversarial system for your divorce? If keeping out of court and saving money on legal fees while protecting your assets and co-parenting relationship sounds good to you, then you really ought to explore mediation. I am not saying mediation is for everyone, but if the two of you are decent people who just want out, no one is trying to hurt the other one and both of you are honest and reliable about money with enough honor to keep your word, then you are the perfect client for mediation.

What A Mediator Does

The attorney who acts as mediator does not represent either party but acts as a neutral facilitator who is a resource for both. The couple can ask the attorney/mediator legal questions and receive help in arriving at all the terms of their divorce. The mediator drafts the marital settlement agreement, which is the document that is attached to the Judgment. The judge signs the agreement without the couple ever going to court and the divorce becomes final 6 months from the day the initial papers were filed and served. When the mediator has a powerful intention to complete the divorce process instead of dragging it out, the results are miraculous.

How Much Does Mediation Cost?

Mediator fees vary depending on location and expertise so call around to make sure you are fully informed. In my own practice the whole process, on average, takes between 4-7 hours but there is certain homework that must be done prior to working with me. It is important to know the mediator’s success rate and how many meetings it usually takes. Mediation is a tiny fraction of the cost of litigation. In California where the average cost of a divorce is $20,000 per side, mediation will always be less. The financial benefits of mediation are obvious but more importantly, you will be comfortable enough with your spouse to co-parent your children. This is the best gift you can give to your children. I ought to know, I was one of those kids caught in the middle. This is why I do what I do. Using mediation instead of litigation brings some sanity back into the divorce process because the adversarial system destroys families. So ask yourself, what kind of divorce do you want? Peaceful divorce is an idea whose time has come.

How To Choose A Mediator

So let’s assume you want to proceed with mediation. You want to make sure the mediator you use has a great track record. The most important thing you want to know is how many couples have they worked with and what percentage settled. Once you find that out you can compare price, length of time it takes and other factors like personality and sex of the mediator before you make up your mind. The important thing is to have all the information you need to make an informed decision. Remember you only get one chance to have a “good divorce” so don’t go down the wrong road because you won’t like the destination.

Is Mediation Right For You

Divorce mediation works best with honest people who are not hiding assets and just want a result that is fair. Most couples who are in the initial stages of thinking about getting a divorce would do well to meet with a divorce mediator as opposed to hiring their own attorneys. You only get one chance at getting a divorce without acrimony. Once you start to go down that adversarial road, it is that much harder to get back to a place where you can function comfortably as co-parents.

Ms. Rachman has been a family law attorney since 1996 and is convinced our adversarial legal system destroys families. She left a successful adversarial law practice and now only does divorce mediation. To find out more information on how mediation differs from litigation, go to http://www.divorce-inaday.com.

Thank you, Belinda for your commitment to helping people in a difficult situation.

Be peaceful Be prosperous!

Ray

Visit The Affirmation Spot store

Comment on this blog entry

Spread the word about this blog entry:

    Health Blogs - BlogCatalog Blog Directory Blog Directory & Search engine Bloglisting.net - The internets fastest growing blog directory Add to Technorati Favorites
    add to del.icio.usAdd to Delicious Digg it Digg It

Link to this blog entry:
The tracback url for this blog is: https://theaffirmationspot.wordpress.com/2008/01/12/the-peaceful-divorce-prophet-the-affirmation-spot-for-saturday-january-12-20

Making the Most of Each Day – The Affirmation Spot for Wednesday January 2, 2008

Today’s affirmation is:

“I make each day a unique and special time in my life.”

solar_system2.jpgOur lives are about more than our jobs, our roles, our tasks, and our responsibilities. Each day of our existence has some unique place the tapestry that makes up our lives. If we’re not careful, we may just miss the meaning.

It’s easy for days to slip by in our lives without us taking notice. Giving each day a special meaning is one way to keep that from happening.

Over the years, I’ve used a number of strategies to add meaning to each day. My favorite is to assign a positive attribute to each day of the week. This is not necessarily a novel idea. In the western world, the days of the week are generally named for the known celestial bodies and the god associated with that object. 

In English Sunday is Sun-day. Monday is Moon-day. In French, Mardi (Tuesday) is Mars-day, Mercredi (Wednesday) is Mercury-day, and Jeudi (Thursday) is a translation of the Latin Jovis (Jupiter) or Jupiter-day. Saturday in English, obviously, is Saturn’s Day.

You can do something similar to add meaning to each day of your week. Try associating a positive emotion, attribute, or thought for each day. As the week’s cycle through, you will find that you look forward to focusing on the meaning of each day. The theme for each day becomes your own private meditation for the day.

You can associate anything you want with each day. The goal is to embody or focus on that attribute as you go through the day. The concepts should resonate with you and your life, but here is an example to give you some ideas.

  1. Sunday – theme your Sundays as “rebirth”. Since Sunday is generally viewed as the first day of the week it makes sense to use it to focus on something like rebirth. It is wonderful to have the opportunity start fresh every so often. Once a week is perfect.
  2. Monday – try theming Mondays as “happiness”. Monday is a depressing day for many people because it is the first day of the work week. Try countering the negative connotation by focusing on happiness all day.
  3. Tuesday – try theming Tuesdays as “peace.” Tuesday as the second day of the week.
  4. Wednesday – try theming Wednesdays as “overcoming”. Wednesday is often viewed as the middle of week – “hump day”. Capitalize on that idea by focusing on overcoming obstacles and challenges on Wednesday.
  5. Thursday – try theming Thursday as “faith” or “belief”. You may focus on your religious and spiritual beliefs or belief in your abilities or your future. Giving one day a week to this topic keeps you grounded in what is important to you.
  6. Friday – try theming Friday as “development”. We always need to be moving ahead in our lives. Having one day a week where we focus on our development can help.
  7. Saturday – try theming Saturday as “completion”. Since Saturday is the last day of the week it is ideal for highlighting the idea of finishing tasks or bringing aspects of our life to completion.

Other possible themes include hope, forgivness, relaxation, joy, frugality, learning, or love. The possibilities are endless and limited only by your imagination.

Coincidentally, there are seven days of the week and seven colors in the rainbow. You might alos try associating a color with each day/positive emotion to create additional significance. 

Create calendars (regular or cyclical) that detail your themed days of the week. As the weeks pass, you begin to look forward to your “day of peace” on Sunday or your “day of take it slow” on Saturday. Try writing a more detailed descriptions of what each day means to you and how it contributes to your life.

Be creative and have fun with it. Maybe you make every Monday “laughing day”. You learn to laugh at yourself and others for taking life so seriously.

Most importantly, you will add significance to each grain of sand slipping through your 2008 hour glass. By the end of the year, you may find your life has more meaning.

Happy New Year. Thank you to each and every one of you who reads this blog, downloads affirmations, or takes a moment to write a kind word about what we are trying to accomplish at The Affirmation Spot.

Be peaceful Be prosperous.

Ray 

Visit The Affirmation Spot store

Comment on this blog entry

Spread the word about this blog entry:

    Health Blogs - BlogCatalog Blog Directory Blog Directory & Search engine Bloglisting.net - The internets fastest growing blog directory Add to Technorati Favorites
    add to del.icio.usAdd to Delicious Digg it Digg It

Link to this blog entry:
The tracback url for this blog is: https://theaffirmationspot.wordpress.com/2008/01/02/making-the-most-of-each-day-in-2008-the-affirmation-spot-for-wednesday-janua

Radical Happiness in a Negative World – The Affirmation Spot for Monday December 10, 2007

happiness.jpgToday’s affirmation is:

“Today I am making the radical choice to be absolutely happy.”

Being happy is a radical choice. It takes work and it requires strength to be happy in our world. The news is filled with the negative. There is a camera, it seems, ready to record every negative event happening on the planet.

Sometimes I think these broadcasts would be more accurately called “negs” rather than news.

Fox News likes to call itself “Fair and Balanced” because, it claims, it provides both sides (apparently meaning left and right) to a story. To me, fair and balanced news would include equal time for the positive and the depressing news.

Hey, there are really bad things and really bad people in this world. It would be naive to stick your head in the sand and not be informed.

The fact is, though, that the overwhelming majority of people on this planet get up, go to work, raise their kids, try to set aside a little bit for a rainy day, and try to get along with their fellow human beings.

This is true of Asians, North Americans, South Americans, Middle Easterners, Europeans, Jews, Muslims, Christians, Buddhists, Hindus, men, women, rich, and poor. It is true of the educated, the uneducated, techies, farmers, doctors, managers, ministers, secretaries, and, well, you get the idea.

All these people get up every day and want to be happy. Instead, their leaders and their information brokers work overtime to present them with a world filled with threat – people wanting to kill them, steal from them, cheat them, and rape them. In short, they work to create an ambient fear that makes happiness tough.

This atmosphere is the reason the affirmation says “the radical choice” to be happy. You, the individual, have to make a radical choice to distance yourself from the matrix of negativity and find a positive place within you to achieve happiness.

The good news is you are fully capable of doing just that. Look for the positive things in your day. Remind others of the positive things going on around them. Spend time each day in prayer, meditation, or using tools like affirmations to counter the prevailing current.

I don’t necessarily encourage you to turn off the negs unless it really causes you distress. To be a rock and a resource to others caught in the negative whirlpool, it’s helpful to know what is being discussed.

I would encourage you to find ways to counter those messages and check them against your own experience of life. Is the world really on fire all day long everywhere or is that an exaggeration?

Are there things happening everywhere all day long that redeem the character of your fellow human beings and demonstrate that the world is, in fact, a miraculous place full incredible opportunity for you?

My answer is yes, if we make the radical choice to recognize them and find happiness.

The choice is yours. Will you get radical today?

Be peaceful Be prosperous,

Ray

anunnaki_cover_full_colorRay’s 2015 speculative fiction novel, Anunnaki Awakening: Revelation, is turning heads. Where did humanity really come from and where is it going? This is Book 1 of a trilogy. The Awakening has begun!

Learn more about the trilogy and order your signed copy today at AATrilogy.com.

8 Ways to Reduce Holiday Stress – The Affirmation Spot for Friday December 7, 2007

Welcome to The Affirmation Spot. If this is your first time to the site, be sure to click one of the subscription options (top left) to be notified each time the blog is updated. Thank you for visiting. If you enjoy what you read here, help us spread the word about The Affirmation Spot.

There are direct links to downloadable mp3 affirmations at The Affirmation Spot.com on the right menu. They are set to music and allow you take positive thoughts with you wherever you go all day.  

There are new affirmations in the Christianity section, the tennis section, and the Personal Empowerment section.

Enjoy today’s post.


Friday greetings,christmas_blue_ornament.jpg

We normally think of red and green as the traditional colors of the Christmas season. In our modern world, we can often add the color blue. Blue as in stressed, depressed, down, or burnt out. Even if Hanukkah is your holiday, you can do without this kind of blue.

Despite its uplifting and inspiring aspects, the holiday season seems to have a way of exasperating  normal stress levels in our lives. The season pushes normally even-keeled people to the brink and chronic stress sufferers to the breaking point.  I could probably write a week’s worth of posts on the things that create that situation, but today’s post focuses on ways to reduce your stress this holiday season. 

 Here are a few ideas for making this holiday season less stressful and more meaningful for you. Believe me, I am working right along with all of you on many of these.

  1. Be aware of your schedule – one way to reduce stress during the holidays is simply to know your schedule. Most of the year events are few and far enough between that we can handle them without a calendar. During the holidays, things can sneak up on you. Last minute events can create stress because they often involve finding a gift, cooking a dish, or both. This is avoided by simply knowing when and where you commitments are and planning for them ahead of time.
  2. Stay within your budget – giving is integral to the meaning of the holiday season. With all the marketing and the genuine impulse to give, spending beyond our means to get that perfect gift or enough gifts for loved ones can seem virtuous. There is nothing virtuous about setting yourself up for the January credit card crunch or December blues knowing that January is coming. Stay within your means and be honest with yourself and others. If you can’t afford to buy things, don’t. Consider giving your time to someone else to help them with a project or using your creative talents to make a gift. Most of your family and friends are not really desperate for more things anyway.
  3. Remember the real meaning of the season – I’m not here to tell you what that meaning ought to be for you. However, most of us agree that this time of the year has a significance that transcends the commercialism that permeates it. Get back in touch with what that meaning is for you and stay focused on it during the holidays. That concept is sure to be more peaceful and less stressful than the go, go, go…shop, shop, shop mentality.
  4. Prioritize your activities – you may not be able to fit every party or every activity into your holiday schedule. Rather than stressing out by trying to make room for every single event, prioritize and select.  Learn to graciously say, “thank you, but no thank you.” You’ll have more time for the most important people and activities.
  5. Focus on people not things – the holidays are a time to spend with people – family, friends, colleagues. The spiritual teacher Ram Dass used to say, “Be here now.” Work on being fully present with the people and enjoying that experience. When you are spending time with others forget about the “to do” list and all the other commitments. Just enjoy being here now.
  6. Be with other people – the holidays are particularly hard when you are down on your luck. Nothing is more stressful than being alone for the holidays. If you are in that position, make an extra effort to find ways to be around people and share the season.  You may not “feel like it” and may not believe you have anything to offer anyone else. If you can push past these two thoughts, you will experience more holiday happiness than you expect.
  7. Make time for you – this one is particularly for those of you always place the needs of others ahead of your own, but it applies to everyone. Make time for yourself during the holidays. Take a day and go shopping by yourself or for yourself. Make sure to schedule some time to read, write, scrapbook, work on the car, or whatever gives you personal joy. The feeling that you haven’t had any time to “just be” can be very strong during the holidays. The effect of that is often stress. Remember to be good to others by being good to yourself.   
  8. Stay on track – use affirmations, prayer, meditation, and other practices and tecniques to stay on track with these other goals. Take a moment each day to see make sure you are monitoring your stress and keeping it under control.

A great affirmation for the holiday season is:

“I am committed to reducing my stress this holiday season. I am reducing stress this holiday season by gaining maximum enjoyment from my time with family and friends. I am reducing stress this holiday season by remembering and focusing on why this time of year is important to me.  I am reducing stress this holiday season by recognizing and addressing my own needs so that I have the energy to be there for others.” 

No offense to Elvis, but you can do without the Blue Christmas this year. Try each of these ideas or just pick one and watch your stress go down and your enjoyment go up. 

Peace…

Ray
The Affirmation Spot

    The tracback url for this blog is: https://theaffirmationspot.wordpress.com/2007/12/07/8-ways-to-reduce-holiday-stress-the-affirmation-spot-for-friday-december-7-2007/

    Health Blogs - BlogCatalog Blog Directory Blog Directory & Search engine Bloglisting.net - The internets fastest growing blog directory Add to Technorati Favorites 
     add to del.icio.usAdd to Delicious
     
    Digg it Digg It