Be Your Coach Not Your Critic – Day 10 – 365 Days to a Better You

Be a coach, not a critic.

There’s no doubt that we all need a kick in the pants from time to time to keep us driven and focused. Self-discipline and self-reflection are keys to the pursuit of success and happiness.

Many of us learned in early in life to be our own worst critics. I’m not completely sure of the psychology behind it; whether it’s nature, nurture, or some combination thereof. The thing is many of us allow that inner critic to speak to us and treat us in ways we’d never allow another person to do.

Power hack: Coach yourself up don’t beat yourself up. I want you to fire the inner critic and hire the best coach you can ever have – YOU.

Instead of mindlessly and destructively criticizing yourself to defeat, coach yourself to victory.

To be a good leader, start by leading yourself well. Rather than going into critical mode, try Balanced Feedback.

Ask yourself:

  1. What did I like about what I did?
  2. What would you do differently next time.
  3. Close with an affirmation or a positive pep-talk.

Shush the critic and bring on the coach!

Have a great day, my friends!


Here’s more tips for giving feedback. Most are easily applicable to self-coaching.

Interview with Kelly Meerbott, Founder of You: Loud & Clear, Inc. – The Affirmation Spot for Friday September 16, 2011

Today’s Affirmation:
Coach Affirmation: I earn my gold by helping my clients find the gold within them!

From time to time, I like to shine a light on the amazing people out there who are really shining a light in the world with their personal example and their businesses. Today we are honored to feature an interview with Kelly A. Meerbott, Founder and Owner at You: Loud & Clear, Inc. Kelly. Before we begin the interview, here is more about Kelly in her own words.

I’m a Transformational Coach for leadership executives. This is my story, my mission, and my promise.

My limitations are my lever. I use my limits, fears and life experiences to my advantage — the good, the bad, and the cathartic. I’ve been recruited with luxurious offers by commercial media giants, and fired for standing my ground in the face of harassment. I’ve soothed furious clients and landed six-figure sales contracts — and I know what it feels like to doubt the talk you’re walking. I’ve lived off unemployment checks and unbridled willpower — and built a thriving business in the depths of the Recession.

I’ve invested thousands of dollars in personal + professional development, and firmly believe that high-integrity people attract high-octane opportunities.

I’m LOUD + CLEAR on my desires, abilities and intentions.

I’m here to help you do the same — your way, with my support.

I get around.  In a past life (as a sought-after marketing consultant) I crafted strategies for Fortune 500s like Virgin America, McDonald’s, Walt Disney World Parks & Resorts, Sony Records and Anytime Fitness, as well as niche + boutique businesses like The Ritz-Carlton of Palm Beach, the British Tourism Authority, Hazelden Addiction Treatment Center and Universal Studios.

I bring my sales, marketing and business-building insights to every coaching session. It’s not my sole focus — but if it’s percolating in your world, we’ll unpack all the details.

And I get results.

One client admitted that “my balls were bigger than his” (I took it as a compliment.) Another called me “the best investment” he’d ever made (and he’d just purchased an airplane.)  I work best with high-performing professionals who are already at the top of their game, and wondering, “what’s next?” (The answer may surprise you…)
Question #1

TAS: Kelly, tells us about your vision for You: Loud & Clear. Who are your potential clients and what kinds of services do you provide to them?

Kelly: My vision is to help people live the life they’d love to live. Life is so short and it’s gone in the blink of an eye.  We all should live life passionately, creatively, happily and authentically.  Unfortunately, very few people live their lives that way.  My service is to find out what is preventing them from living that life and work with them to get them there.

The services I provide are: listening and asking questions. The rest of the work is done by my client. When we begin our work together we get very clear on what their goals are and we create a customized plan for them to achieve the success in areas of their lives that they want to achieve.

Question #2

TAS: The work you’re doing is obviously important. You’ve committed your professional life to inspiring others to get better and reach their goals and dreams. Who has inspired you on your journey? 

Kelly: People who have failed fantastically in their lives and still were not afraid to be themselves inspire me.   People who are not afraid of being vulnerable and showing themselves to the world:  warts and all.  I used to strive for perfection.  Now I joke with my clients that I’m a recovering perfectionist.  I thought I had to hide who I was then I realized (with help from my coach, Charrise McCrorey) that my failures and mistakes in life were my best assets as a coach.  They are the experiences that brought me to this point in my life.  They are the best way I can be of service and assistance to my clients during their individual journeys.

Question #3

TAS: Do you have any mentors (personal or from afar) who inform your approach to this work? 

Kelly: My husband:  Brian who is active duty in the military and is truly the yin to my yang.  I learn so much from him.  He lives such an authentic life it takes my breath away.

My coach:  Charrise McCrorey who inspires me daily.  The most important thing she taught me is to be me.  She will tell you that I did all the work but I contend that she was the catalyst.

Steve Chandler who’s work changed my life. 

Byron Katie  who taught me to question the validity of my thoughts.

Lee Cockerell who’s failures during his career made him an extraordinary executive.

My clients.  They are my best coaches.  I learn so much from them EVERY day.

My success team (the people who I went to the Sapien Harbor Coaching Academy with):  Richard Blakeborough, Krystal Levi, Megan McCrorey, Linda  Wilson, Valerie St. Germain, Melissa Flagler each one is a gift to the world.  I consistently stand in awe and am filled with gratitude because they are in my life.

Question #4

TAS: You say on your website that “one powerful conversation can change your life.” That sounds like a big promise. How do you deliver on that promise?

Kelly: With the right person, at the right time, with the necessary amount of openness and receptive spirit, one conversation has the potential to change a life.  The prerequisite is feeling that the other person in the conversation is truly and absolutely listening to you without pronouncing judgments or reaching conclusions based on inadequate or incorrect data.  You must feel as though anything you say is good and right – from there, you are liberated to become exactly who and what you are.

Question #5 

TAS: We all know there a lot of professional coaches out there, what sets Kelly Meerbott and You: Loud & Clear apart from the crowded coaching field?

Kelly: I can only speak for my methodologies and outcomes that are all predicated on one simple premise: I am listening fully and absolutely to who you are and what you seek to deposit in the universe.  With that as the fundamental truth of our interaction, you are now able to develop whatever it is you seek to have happen to your life and I am your coach and your cheering section on that journey.  Everything I coach my clients on: income, communication, executive leadership, etc.  Are based on road-tested disciplines that have worked in my life and in my clients lives.

Question #6

TAS: We are certainly living in transformational times. Many people are trying to find the key to unlock that potential within them and transform their lives. You call yourself a transformational coach. What does transformation mean to you? Can you give us an example (anonymous, of course) of a client you have helped transform his or her life or career?

Kelly: One of our realities in twenty-first century technology is that change is constant. If we are unable to respond to change in a positive and affirmative manner, we are destined to be left in the past, both technologically and professionally. When I speak of transformation, I am embracing change as a necessary factor in our survival, both individually and as a society.  We must transform ourselves from whatever it is that restrains or inhibits our growth; from there we must grow into what fulfills and completes us, both in terms of individual spirituality and our professional behavior.

I have been quite gratified by the reactions of a number of clients who have been forthcoming about the coaching they have received from me.  The most significant of these is a female client in this area who has said the following:  “Kelly, I have read so many books and attended so many seminars but they all leave me with the same feeling.  If you don’t fit into one of their cookie-cutter paradigms, you are not right.  You are the first and only coach who has encouraged me to identify who I am and fight for the right to be that person.  I will forever be grateful to you for that.”

Question #7

TAS: There may be some people reading this who know they would benefit from a coach, but are concerned about the cost. They may see it as a luxury item at this point in their businesses or careers. What would you say to these people?

Kelly: My first response is likely to be along the lines of receiving exactly what you pay for in terms of coaching and self-actualization.  But I understand difficult economic conditions and I am sensitive to the constraints that they impose.  All I can say with certainty is that while self-development is an ongoing, critically important process, the coaching that I provide is an investment that will justify itself throughout life.  We invest in stocks, real estate, education and other entities that have unpredictable by-products. If you invest in yourself, you win.    My efforts are dedicated toward making this a realistic, vitally important investment in yourself that will have resounding and lasting consequences.

I’m also very big on delivering value.  I ask the question:  what would you have to see to know that you are getting value from our coaching relationship.  My clients and I create very clear agreements that allow us to track their return on investment.


TAS: Kelly, thank you so much for your insightful answers and for what you do to help people reach their goals and dreams. How can an interested TAS reader contact you to learn more?

Kelly: They can either email me:, call me:  757.262.8329 or fill out the Life Leadership Application : and I’ll gift them 30 minutes with me so they can experience what it would be like to work together.

Follow your bliss! Experience your bliss! Become your bliss!


Ray Davis is the Founder of The Affirmation Spot and focuses on empowering minds to think positively, achieve goals, and live dreams. He is author of the ebook The Power to Be You and the forthcoming The Power to Be You 2: 1001 Power Thoughts for Daily Life.

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Kansas State Win Demonstration of Not Giving Up – The Affirmation Spot for Sunday October 18, 2009

Check Out Our Cool New Affirmation Apps:

Check out our new affirmation apps for Apple devices or search i-mobilize on the iTunes store. The Affirmation Spot is developing these motivation apps in partnership with i-mobilize. Click an app to view it – Love Magnet, Sales Booster, Confidence Affirmation, or Full Body Scan.


Belief Affirmation: “Others can count me out, but my belief is the only thing that counts!”

(AP) Kansas State Football Coach Bill Snyder coaches players from the sideline during KSU's 62-14 victory of over Texas AM
(AP) Kansas State Football Coach Bill Snyder coaches players from the sideline during KSU's 62-14 victory of over Texas A&M

As a coach who took the Kansas State football program from the basement of college football to parties in the penthouse during the 1990s, Coach Bill Snyder knows a little about not giving up. When he came out of retirement this year to try to revive his beloved KSU football program, there were many reasons to doubt that even he could succeed.

Thus far the K-State season has had its ups and downs. Last week’s 66-14 loss in Lubbock to Texas Tech was a definite down. Given the challenges being faced by the program, a loss like that could have caused this team to fold its tent for the season.

Not on Bill Snyder’s watch! Kudos to Coach Snyder and his team for an outstanding demonstration of not giving up Saturday night. Snyder certainly added a chapter to his legendary ability to get his teams prepared to play.

After last week’s loss to Texas Tech, the Wildcats found themselves a touchdown underdog at home against Texas A&M.

Doubt could have crept in. Effort could have gone AWOL. Performance could have tanked. Instead, the Wildcats came out and absolutely dominated the Aggies. The 62-14 stunner has to rank as one of the largest one week turnarounds in college football history.

It would have been easy for K-State to count itself out. What a wonderful example of not doing so. After all, a loss is simply – L essons and O bstacles preparing me for S tunning S uccesses! Every struggle has within it the seeds of a massive triumph.

Have you had a setback or a big loss? Remember that with determination it is always possible to turn things around. Sometimes more quickly than anyone expects.

Stay inspired!


2009 Affirmation

“I am absolutely committed to being the person I came here to be!”

101 Ways to Use Affirmations – The Affirmation Spot for Tuesday August 26, 2008

Today’s Affirmation:

“Whatever goal or dream I choose to pursue, I find success.”

Affirmations are such an underutilized tool in our society. Many people have mistakenly associated them with just a few areas of life – self-development, recovery, or sales. The fact is they are a simple and effective tool for improving nearly any area of your life where you want to improve or acheive.

Affirmations are the thought part of the equation. They must be supported by action. Remember, a mind practicing empowered thinking is much more apt to take the actions that make dreams so.

Here are 101 ways to use affirmations to get you started.

  1. Empower your thinking
  2. Empower action in your life
  3. Improve your golf swing
  4. Develop your confidence
  5. Advance your career
  6. Exceed your quota
  7. Experience more peace
  8. Win more games
  9. Become a better public speaker
  10. Become a better student
  11. Build your self-esteem
  12. Successfully battle addictions
  13. Live more happily
  14. Focus on your goals
  15. Achieve your goals
  16. Become a better musician
  17. Become a better shortstop
  18. Become a better gymnast
  19. Deepen your faith
  20. Stay motivated in the face of difficulty
  21. Improve  creativity
  22. Give yourself some credit
  23. Attract a better job
  24. Become a better quarterback
  25. Become a better dancer
  26. Become a better free throw shooter
  27. Enhance your trust in yourself
  28. Enhance your trust in the Universe
  29. Enhance your trust in God
  30. Achieve more
  31. Strengthen your commitment to your relationships
  32. Improve your tennis serve
  33. Commit to and achieve weight loss
  34. Commit to an exercise program
  35. Improve your cooking
  36. Become a faster swimmer
  37. Write your best
  38. Challenge yourself
  39. Gain inspiration for your painting
  40. Build a more successful business
  41. Increase your sales
  42. Help you appreciate life
  43. Develop new skills
  44. Become a better skier
  45. Become a hockey player
  46. Become a more successful author
  47. Help you pursue your dreams of a singing career
  48. Deal with stress
  49. Handle adversity
  50. Become a better engineer
  51. Connect to your audience
  52. Pursue your acting dreams
  53. Be the best coach
  54. Start over
  55. Try something new
  56. Experience more love
  57. Feel more joy
  58. Find encouragement
  59. Encourage growth
  60. Become a better engineer
  61. Take charge of your dreams
  62. Become a better pitcher
  63. Improve your putting
  64. Envision a better life
  65. Stay organized
  66. Get more done
  67. Become a better preacher
  68. Write your great novel
  69. Paint your great painting
  70. Develop a sense of purpose
  71. Develop more wisdom
  72. Become a better volleyball player
  73. Become a better architect
  74. Age gracefully
  75. Enjoy life
  76. Become a better poet
  77. Assume leadership confidently
  78. Be your best
  79. Change direction in life
  80. Calm down
  81. Become a better lawyer
  82. See the beauty in life
  83. Become a better teacher
  84. Appreciate nature
  85. Remind you that you have choices
  86. Get control of your finances
  87. Become a better salesperson
  88. Make more time for you
  89. Succeed more often
  90. Become a stronger person
  91. Become a better manager
  92. Inspire others
  93. Make a difference
  94. Become a better right fielder
  95. Improve your gardening
  96. Make time for leisure
  97. Achieve relaxation
  98. Become a better police officer
  99. Attract business opportunities
  100. Make peace with money
  101. Fine-tune practically any skill


Stay inspired!