When Nobody’s Watching – Day 299 of 365 Days to a Better You

Virtually every human being has two versions. Yes, I mean you and I mean me. There’s the public you and there’s the private you.

The public you, unless you’ve attained sainthood or enlightenment, tries to impress, to fit in, and to stand out. It tends to pretend you’ve got it all figured out and you’re damn near flawless. It’s the “Facebook self” you present to the world.

Don’t misunderstand me you’re every bit the one in a trillion miracle we’ve talked about previously. It’s just that you and I are still works in progress.

Then there’s the other you…the person you are when nobody’s watching. This is the person your public side tries desperately to hide. This person has imperfect thoughts and sometimes does imperfect things. It’s the person you’d be embarrassed to show the world…the person you wish you weren’t.

Take heart! You’re not alone! This is an ubiquitous human experience. Practically every person you meet is struggling with this same dichotomy.

Consider this. Don’t feel ashamed of that private self or beat yourself up over it. It’s an amazing blessing in disguise. It’s a great barometer for measuring who you honestly are compared to who you fervently aspire to be. That self makes it real in a way your Facebook self would never tolerate. Without such truth-telling, how can you ever hope to be your best self?

It’s the great work of your life to bring that real you into ever better alignment with your aspirational you.

Here are five easy (not simple) steps you can take to make it so.

  1. Take honest stock. Where are you really?
  2. Where do you want to be? Get as clear a vision as possible of who you want your private self to be.
  3. How will you bridge the gap between the two? What do you need to start doing? What do you need to stop doing? What do you need to do more of?
  4. See yourself and speak yourself and act yourself into a better you each day.
  5. Absolutely unquestionably know that you have an enlightened being living within you and ready to emerge if you’re willing to do the work.

I love each and every one of your private selves. If no one else has reminded you today, you are AWESOME!

Ray

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Seven Ways to Lose the Drama in Your Life – Day 219 of 365 Days to a Better You

Drama is awesome in a movie, but taxing in our lives. How do you minimize the drama in your life? Based on feedback from readers, TinyBuddha.com compiled a list of seven things you can do to reduce the drama.

  1. Recognize when you’re the source of the drama. If you want to go on a drama diet, start with you. You’re the person you have the most control over. You might find, when considered beyond the heat of the moment, that you started or contributed to your last dramatic episode.
  2. Change your perspective. Is the situation going to matter in a year or even 10 minutes from now? Avoid making mountains out of molehills.
  3. Don’t feed into other people’s drama. So, you didn’t cause the drama, but did your pour oil on their fire of drama? Let them have their moment and move on.
  4. Reconsider unhealthy relationships. Are there people who bring nothing but drama to you? Harsh as it might sound, you may have to cut ties to cut the drama. This is, of course, a balance. If a person brings real value in your life but lots of drama too, you may try having a dispassionate conversation with them to see if you can come to an agreement to reduce drama.
  5. Be clear with other people. Sometimes drama is just miscommunication. Both people are reacting rather than responding to the situation. Go to your calm place and take the emotion out of it to get to clear communication.
  6. Be slow to label it drama. Sometimes it’s just a lack of patience or insight that causes us to call something drama. The other person might just really need you right now. Seen and understood in a different light the “drama” might just be a need for compassion.
  7. Learn from drama. This might be the most important one. Are you having the same drama over and over? Maybe the other person and you aren’t learning from past dramas. Get conscious. If you know something sets them off, do you really need to go there? Conversely, if you know your buttons are being pushed, get conscious and choose a different reaction or take some space.

Your life doesn’t have to be a constant soap opera, if you’ll take these steps to lose the drama.

You’re amazing! I just wanted to tell you that in case no one else reminds you today.

Ray

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