Evening Motivation – Roadblocks Are Shortcuts to Something Better

Hey, my friends!

I hope you’ve had a fantastic day! Here’s a little evening motivation for any of you who have ever hit a roadblock or a detour in your plans. Sometimes it’s the best possible thing that can happen. Here’s an affirmation you can use to remind yourself of that profound fact.

Enjoy your evening and sleep well!

Ray

Twice Victimized

Today’s Thought

We are called to be architects of the future, not its victims.
~Buckminster Fuller

wrists_ropes_brokenGood morning, my friends. I want to talk about victimization today. Sadly, we live in a world where many, many people have been victims of horrific events in their lives. Victimization comes in many forms – physical, psychological, spiritual, sexual, violent. The way humanity currently operates – selfishly, greedily, thoughtlessly – this is too common.When these things occur in our lives, they can temporarily knock us off course or, for some people, it can be a life-destroying situation. It’s natural and healthy to take some time to assess and heal. The amount of time necessary is different for each person. Yet, heal we must or we risk being victimized a second time and a third and fourth by our own victimhood.

Our popular culture has elevated victimhood to a badge of honor. Something that empowers you. Any careful assessment of that philosophy will quickly show you that’s faulty logic that will only keep you locked in a downward spiral.

I have some good news, but some of you will find it hard to hear. You may even become angry in defense of your victimhood. That’s OK. It tells you it’s your good friend, but it’s not. It’s that destructive kind of friend who promises to protect you from being hurt again. In reality, it only protects you from living your life. Please know I am coming from a good place in sharing this with you. You see, I lived it for a number of years in my life.

There is a way out and up for you. It requires you to do something challenging and difficult, but necessary, to get your life back on course. It’s time to release and forgive your victimizer. More often that not, your nemesis is an unhealed victim themselves. That doesn’t excuse their actions, it does help us to see them again as a human being, just like us, dealing with demons.

Secondly, and even more importantly, it’s time for you to release the guilt or other negative feelings you hold on to…the ones that are causing you to remain a victim instead of the sovereign champion of your life.

Over my years, running The Affirmation Spot (@affirmationspot), I’ve had so many people reach out to me suffering from this victim state. I posted a number of original quotes for them to post in their daily lives to remind them that being a victim is something that happened to them. It IS NOT who they permanently are and it IS NOT who you permanently are either.

I hope they help you claim your courage and your determination to shift course and have the life you deserve.

  • Every time you start to play the victim today stop yourself and remind yourself WHO really you are.
  • Whenever I play the victim role, I have given my power to someone else to decide who I am. Today I refuse to do it!
  • To understand your thinking creates your circumstances, is not blaming the victim. It’s empowering you not to be a victim anymore.
  • Victimhood becomes a comfort zone. You remain a victim as long as you play a victim. Stop it! You’re better than that!
  • As long as you play the victim, you’ll be the victim. Your hero is waiting for you in the mirror.
  • No one can victimize you as completely, as your perpetual belief that you are a victim.
  • You are the director if your life. The only way you keep playing the victim is to keep casting yourself in the role.
  • Today I choose to be the beneficiary of my positive thinking rather than the victim of my negative thinking.
  • You are a victim of your conditioning, until you become master of your thinking.
  • Every time you play the victim, you give your power away.If your bliss is playing the victim, who are your dreams to stand in the way?If you believe you’re a victim, you are. If you believe you’re unstoppable, you are.

Don’t let your victimizer win by taking the life you might have had from you. Free yourself to be who you want to be!

Stay inspired!

Ray

The Symbolic Mind – The Affirmation Spot for Tuesday August 10, 2010

Today’s Affirmation:

My world is what I MAKE of it and today I CHOOSE to make it a beautiful place to be.


I find everything related to our minds fascinating. There are three vast unexplored frontiers in our world – the ocean floor, deep space, and the space between our ears. That third one just may be the most vast and amazing of all.

On the way home this afternoon, I heard a very interesting story on NPR’s afternoon news and information program All Things Considered.

Reporter Alix Spiegel did an amazing piece called “When Did We Become Mentally Modern”. The story talks about the importance of symbolic thinking in the way we conceptualize the world.

Listen to the Story

When you think about it this concept of symbolic thinking is very important describing and understanding our mental states. Often thoughts, ideas, and feelings appear in our minds as imagery in symbolic form. Those images and the stories we tell ourselves in support of them are critical to our mental well-being. The story provides plenty for you to consider as you learn to pay attention to your symbolic thinking.

Stay inspired!

Ray

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Perspective – The Affirmation Spot for Saturday July 17, 2010

Today’s Thought:

How small the world we share. How great our foolishness not to see that.

Our disputes can seem so all encompassing. We can become focused on the immensity of our problems. We are obsessed with our differences. Yet, from a distance, we are all spinning around on a very small bluish ball in a very large black vastness. What an important thing to remember.

Stay inspired!

Ray

Perspective:

Ruthless Compassion: An Interview with Dr. Marcia Sirota – The Affirmation Spot for Friday March 5, 2010

Today’s Affirmation:

Today I am just me; no masks and no excuses. Simply me!

One of the goals of this blog is to expose readers to some of the great thinkers and practitioners in the worlds of motivation, self-help, and personal development. Today I am pleased share an interview with Dr. Marcia Sirota MD FRCP (C).

Dr. Sirota is an author, speaker, and founder of the Ruthless Compassion Institute. This conversation was conducted by email between February 21 and March 1, 2010. I’d like to express my thanks to her for her generous attention and thoughtful responses to the questions posed and for sharing her wisdom and ideas with us.

I hope you will find Ruthless Compassion a useful tool in your journey. You will find contact information for Dr. Sirota at the conclusion of the interview.

Stay inspired!

Ray


TAS: Marcia, can you tell the readers a little about your background and what led you to the work you are doing now?

Dr. Marcia Sirota: I have a Bachelor’s Degree in Philosophy, having studied both Western and Eastern schools of thought. I also have a background in the arts; in particular drawing, writing and dance. I’m a board-certified psychiatrist currently doing individual and group psychotherapy with a focus on healing trauma, overcoming blocks to creativity and success, conquering addictions and improving relationships.

TAS: Ruthless Compassion is an attention-getting phrase. How do you define RC? How long have you been practicing and teaching it?

DMS: Ruthless Compassion is a synthesis of loving-kindness and empowerment. It’s a philosophy which promotes the unerring pursuit of the unvarnished truth tempered with an attitude of gentleness and respect toward ourselves and others. It also entails taking personal responsibility for the choices we make and the actions we take in life; recognizing that no-one can or should do these things for us. Finally, it’s an attitude of integrity, whereby we hold ourselves and others accountable for these choices and actions and don’t enable anyone to continue making bad choices.

TAS: I love the idea of a philosophy that combines loving-kindness and empowerment. Often in life one person holding another person accountable can create conflict. How do inexperienced practitioners hold others accountable without eliciting hostility? Do all involved parties have to be committed to the process for it succeed?

DMS: Holding someone accountable for their actions doesn’t always mean confronting them. Sometimes it’s necessary to be more direct and to let them know that their behavior is unacceptable, but often it’s preferable just to give the person the type of consequences that emerge out of you taking better care of yourself. Practicing RC isn’t about “teaching someone a lesson” or bashing them over the head to make a point. It’s about neither enabling someone to hurt you nor colluding with them when they try to hurt others.

If someone gets angry or hostile when you don’t let them get away with their bad behavior, it demonstrates that they are unreasonable, and unwilling to change their ways. It might be disappointing to see this about someone but it’s not a bad outcome. It provides you with crucial information about their character that you’ll need in order to asses whether you want to associate with them or not.

All parties don’t have to be aware of RC for it to succeed. When someone receives consequences for having made a bad choice, they are being presented (by the practitioner of RC) with an opportunity to learn from their mistakes. They have a further choice to make then: whether to take advantage of the opportunity to learn and grow or to reject it, and perhaps become angry.

If the person chooses to become upset about receiving a consequence, perhaps in the future other people will practice RC with them and eventually they’ll make the connection and learn something; maybe even changing their ways. On the other hand, if they immediately use the consequences to improve their behavior, two things will happen: they’ll make it possible for us to trust them and feel closer to them, and they’ll be learning at the same time how RC works and may choose to use it themselves in the future.

TAS: This may sound like a question for a musician, but who are your psychological influences? Whose work inspired your vision for RC?

DMS: My psychological influences are many and varied: They include all my teachers, whether in my personal life or the ones I’ve studied in books. I especially appreciate Freud and his division of the psyche into Id, Ego and Super-ego, and Transactional Analysis, developed by Eric Berne who translated these concepts into the child, adult and parent parts of the psyche. I’ve taken that idea and run with it in my theories and practice. I also appreciate Jungian archetypes, folk tales and mythology as bases for understanding the complexities of the human psyche and human relationships. I probably take a lot from various schools of Buddhism, as well.

Ruthless Compassion came to me as an evolving concept through my practice and my life. All the above influences as well as my life experiences combined into this new way of looking at things. In observing the suffering of my patients and of people in general, I saw that the old ways of dealing with relationships, work, the environment, money, addiction, creativity and even spirituality didn’t hold, and that a new approach was desperately needed. Ruthless Compassion was borne of this need.

TAS: On your website, you state, “The goal of the (Ruthless Compassion) institute is to enable you to live with greater freedom, empowerment and happiness, to be in constructive, meaningful relationships and to make a positive contribution to your family and community.” How does RC help people achieve these aspirations?

DMS: RC can help people live better lives in that it supports their becoming more conscious. The ruthlessness aspect spurs them ever onward in seeing and dealing with the truth of how things are, who they are, and what the people in their life are doing to them and around them. The compassion aspect allows them to face the truth without beating themselves up, either for the choices they’ve been making or for not having seen the truth sooner.

RC keeps people from being enablers to others’ bad behavior, thus preventing a lot of potential suffering. RC is empowering because it has people living in reality and this makes it more possible for them to achieve their goals. It has people taking responsibility for themselves, while also preventing them from criticizing themselves. This combination is a great motivator for positive action.

TAS: What differentiates RC from other forms therapy or self-development techniques? Are there similarities with some other techniques?

DMS: RC is different in that it’s reality-based. There’s no magical thinking involved that tells people to think the right thoughts and then they’ll achieve their goals, or that if they buy into this quick and easy solution, they’ll fix their problem(s). RC tells you that good things come from working toward realistic goals in a meaningful way.

RC doesn’t promise to change your life or that it will bring you amazing riches, fabulous success or  brilliant romance. What it does do is enable you to let go of a lot of the unnecessary suffering in your life that has come from making poor choices – the choices that were based on false hope, inappropriate expectations or erroneous beliefs. It allows you to improve your relationships by owning your part in them and letting go of the part that doesn’t belong to you; it frees you to pursue real goals, both of personal growth and outer success, based on your real efforts.

RC is also different because it doesn’t ask you to change who you are to practice it. It’s not a dogma, and therefore anyone can benefit from it. It doesn’t require you to change your diet, your religion or your lifestyle. What you do have to change is your attitude and your old ways of looking at yourself, others and the world.

I imagine that RC has similarities with a number of techniques or tools for living, but I also think that it is a unique philosophy in and of itself.

TAS: You mentioned magical thinking and false hope. Of course, there are some very popular “systems” that have come out in recent years giving people the impression that their thoughts are a kind of cosmic ATM card. You think the right thoughts, the claims go, and anything can be yours.

Unfortunately, those ideas have caused damage to the demonstrated benefits of positive thinking and positive visualization. How do you differentiate magical thinking from positive thinking and what role, if any, does positive affirmation play in RC? How does one differentiate false hope from real hope?

DMS: Magical thinking is deciding that something is so, just because you want it to be. It has no basis in reality. Positive thinking is seeing the reality of a situation and maximizing its potential.

False hope is the hope for something that could never be; for example that if you try hard enough you could get someone who doesn’t like you to love you. Real hope is grounded in what is actually possible, like the hope that you could become a happier, healthier person.

There is definitely a role for positive affirmation in RC but for it to be meaningful, it must be reality-based. This means we recognize our own limitations and the limitations of reality, and instead of trying to affirm the impossible (which renders our affirmations absurd) we affirm our inherent qualities and strengths.

Positive affirmations should remind us that we’re entitled to be happy and free; that we’re lovable and valuable as we are, and that we’re more likely (although not guaranteed) to succeed if we give something our best effort.

When affirmations are disconnected from reality, they are ridiculous at best and destructive at worst. When they are reality-based, they encourage us and support us in pursuing and achieving our goals.

TAS: What kinds of results have you witnessed? Are you able to share any anonymous success stories that really demonstrate the power of RC?

DMS: Practicing RC is a very effective way of improving your life. I’ve seen many example of people making positive changes in their relationships, at work, in overcoming addictions and in developing self-esteem. I’ve had a few patients whose marriages were in crisis and through the practice of RC, they are now in a much better place.

I had one patient who was being exploited and disrespected at work, even though they were an excellent employee. Through the practice of RC they’ve become a lot more strategic in the workplace, and while they continue to do excellent work, they are now setting appropriate limits on what is asked of them as well as commanding respect from supervisors and colleagues.

TAS: Where does RC go from here? Do you feel like the concept is fully developed or ever-evolving?

DMS: I see RC as an ever-evolving way of thinking and being. As I evolve as a person, and as the people who are using it evolve, we’ll be able to see where we can take this philosophy of empowerment, personal responsibility, self-accountability and integrity.

Rigid ideology tends to devolve into dogma; even fanaticism. I want RC to be a living, breathing philosophy that can grow and develop as we do. In order to be valid, it must be able to tolerate questioning and be amenable to change.

TAS: Yes. We have seen dogma and fanaticism result from many well-meaning philosophies in the past. Does RC have a future beyond this generation? Do you see it as a movement or philosophy that will transcend your current work? Are there other teachers learning and teaching it? Does someone need to be in counseling or a group to practice it or can someone practice on his or her own?

DMS: RC is in its nacent form, and it’s my hope that more and more people will begin to embrace it and experience the benefit of practicing it. Like any new movement, people need to find out about it and I plan on giving seminars (webinars) and workshops in the near future to teach people how to apply the principles of RC in their daily lives.

I don’t think that RC needs to be learned or taught in a therapeutic setting, but I do believe that whoever teaches it must be very well-versed in the theory and practice, in order that they neither dilute nor distort the message. Along the same lines, those who want to learn it must be sincere, open-minded and well-taught, so that they don’t go off with a partial or confused understanding of the principles of RC.

TAS: If TAS readers are interested in learning more about RC or your work, how can they do that?

DMS: TAS readers are welcome to visit my website: http://www.ruthlesscompassioninstitute.com where they can view videos and read articles about the practice of RC. The “About” section of the site also discusses the meaning and purpose of RC. I am on Twitter: @rcinstitute, where I regularly tweet original content that represents my philosophical point of view.

TAS: Marcia, thank you so much. We look forward to hearing more about RC in the future.

Collective Mental Empowerment Parts I & II

Today’s Quote:

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

~George Santayana

chemtrailsky1_louisburg_2015Last summer I posted a two-part series on the importance of mental empowerment. The first article discussed all the ways the mental environment is polluted with negativity and fear. That fear is often the result of disinformation, a lack of transparency, and outright corruption and tyranny by the powers that be.

The second article discussed ways to deal with it and overcome it.

They caused quite a response when I posted them originally. Thought I’d post them again.

Collective Mental Empowerment Part I

Collective Mental Empowerment Part II

Empower Your Mind!

Follow your bliss. Experience your bliss. Become your bliss.

Ray

Ray Davis is the founder of The Affirmation Spot and an advocate for the potential of the human race.  He’s the author of the breakthrough novel Anunnaki Awakening: Revelation – order your signed copy today at AATrilogy.com

anunnaki_cover_full_colorAnunnaki Awakening: Revelation is turning heads and opening minds. Humanity’s past is checkered, secret, and dangerous.

White House Correspondent Maria Love is on to the story of her life and with the help of an Anunnaki leaders seeks to unravel and reveal history’s biggest conspiracy. The Awakening has begun!

Our Thoughts Filter Our Experiences – The Affirmation Spot for Monday December 14, 2009

Check Out My Affirmation Apps. 15-minute meditations or workout tracks with affirmations.

Check out our affirmation apps for Apple devices or search i-mobilize on the iTunes store. The Affirmation Spot is developing these motivation apps in partnership with i-mobilize. Click an app to view it – Love Magnet, Business Success, Make A Difference Affirmation, or Full Body Scan, Rising Star Cardio Affirmation, and many more.


One of the reasons it is so important to work on the way you think about your life is that your thoughts are the filter through which you see every event in your life.

Let’s take a simple example of how the exact same event can be dramatically different based on what you think about the situation.

April: You’re watching your favorite baseball team play a spring training game. It’s bottom of the ninth and two outs. Your team is up 3-2 and the opposing team has runners at second and third. The hitter hits a ground ball right to your shortstop. It goes right between his legs allowing the winning runs to score.

How do you feel? You’re probably upset for a little while, but then you have the thought, “Well, it’s just a spring training game. It’s not that important.”

July: You’re watching your favorite baseball team play their arch rival. It’s bottom of the ninth and two outs. Your team is up 3-2 and the opposing team has runners at second and third. The hitter hits a ground ball right to your shortstop. It goes right between his legs allowing the winning runs to score.

How do you feel? You’re probably a lot more upset than you were about the spring training game. It might ruin your night. You might spend much of the next day commiserating with other fans of your team on how they let that game get away against the big rival.

Objectively, this is the exact same situation. The difference is your thoughts about it.

November: Your team, despite a shortstop who can’t field ground balls, has made it to the World Series. You’re watching game seven. It’s bottom of the ninth and two outs. Your team is up 3-2 and the opposing team has runners at second and third. The hitter hits a ground ball right to your shortstop. It goes right between his legs allowing the winning runs to score.

How do you feel? You’re thinking, “We just lost the world series because on play that should have been handled and we could have won.” Again, the events are objectively precisely the same as the other two situations. However, you might have a crummy few months during the off season constantly thinking about the World Series victory that should have been. If you’re a big fan, it might even impact other parts of your life. You’ll probably still be talking about it in 20 years.

Of course, this scenario is just for example purposes. But how many things do we do this with in life? You could choose to see all three events as, “Well, it’s just a baseball game and these things happen.”

I’m not saying that’s the way you should see it or that you shouldn’t have passion for things. I’m saying that the only difference in the three scenarios is your thoughts about the situation and its relative importance.

We all do this constantly. Our thoughts, not people or events, create our mood and our mindset. Obviously, outside circumstances serve as triggers, but ultimately it comes down to how we choose think about the event.

Today notice the times in your life when you make everything the world series situation instead of being willing to see life as a kind of spring training game where you and the people around you are all working to get better.

Stay inspired!

Ray

2009 Affirmation

“This year I am absolutely committed to being the person I came here to be!”