365 Days to a Better You – Day 10

Be a coach, not a critic.

There’s no doubt that we all need a kick in the pants from time to time to keep us driven and focused. Self-discipline and self-reflection are keys to the pursuit of success and happiness.

Many of us learned in early in life to be our own worst critics. I’m not completely sure of the psychology behind it; whether it’s nature, nurture, or some combination thereof. The thing is many of us allow that inner critic to speak to us and treat us in ways we’d never allow another person to do.

Here’s today’s life hack. Coach yourself up don’t beat yourself up. I want you to fire the inner critic and hire the best coach you can ever have – YOU.

Instead of mindlessly and destructively criticizing yourself to defeat, coach yourself to victory.

To be a good leader, start by leading yourself well. Rather than going into critical mode, try Balanced Feedback.

Ask yourself:

  1. What did I like about what I did?
  2. What would you do differently next time.
  3. Close with an affirmation or a positive pep-talk.

Shush the critic and bring on the coach!

Have a great day, my friends!

Ray

Here’s more tips for giving feedback. Most are easily applicable to self-coaching.

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Evening Motivation – Roadblocks Are Shortcuts to Something Better

Hey, my friends!

I hope you’ve had a fantastic day! Here’s a little evening motivation for any of you who have ever hit a roadblock or a detour in your plans. Sometimes it’s the best possible thing that can happen. Here’s an affirmation you can use to remind yourself of that profound fact.

Enjoy your evening and sleep well!

Ray

Midday Motivation – Will Smith & FDR

little-boy-1635065_640Franklin Roosevelt famously said in his 1933 Inauguration Speech, “Let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.”

Fear is the one thing that stops us most from pursuing our dreams and stepping out beyond the tribe. It’s not fear of failure, but that fear that paralyzes and convinces us it’s not a good idea before we even try.

Will Smith is, of course, famous as one of the biggest movie stars in the world. In recent years, he’s embarked on sharing the motivational tips that helped him attain that status. In this video, he describes a situation we may or may never face. However, I think you’ll find it applicable to any challenge you’re facing and fearing right now.

I won’t be posting again this evening! Everyone have a wonderful rest of your Saturday and I will talk to you again soon.

Ray

365 Days to a Better You – Day 4

The Serenity Prayer

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

action-bangkok-business-1031698Patience, they say, is a virtue. It’s a virtue in short supply in our society today. It’s not because we’re all evil or selfish. It’s just that we’re always in a hurry. Running from one thing to the next and working to be productive little bees, we have a short fuse for things that hold us up.

You see this in the form of honked horns, people yelling at retail clerks or waiters, and, in extreme cases, road rage. People can literally lose their minds because some has the audacity to slow them down. Has this ever been you? I’m sad to say it has, on occasion, been me.

Here’s my challenge to you on Day 4. Take a breath. Breathe in, breathe out, and relax. In whatever ways present themselves today, let the other person go ahead of you. If someone honks at you, take a breath, smile, and see how they’re being driven by this same crazy force that’s driving all of us.

Demonstrate some patience today. You might like enough to make it a new habit doing its part of make you a better you. If you’re lucky, you may touch on something even deeper than conscious patience…serenity.

Peace out and chill out, my friends! Have an awesome and patient day. Share your experiences in the comments below.

You’re AWESOME!

Ray

For more motivational content, visit the TAS website or YouTube channel.

365 Days to a Better You – Day 3

“The currency of real networking is not greed but generosity.”
~ @Ferrazzi.

network-3148727_640How are you doing so far? Did you decide to BE some exciting and cool things by the end of 2019? That’s awesome! Stay with them. Don’t let them fall off your radar as life begins to encroach.

It’s Day 3 and I have a question for you. How well do you know your friends and acquaintances? More specifically, how well do you know what they’re trying to achieve in their lives right now? What are their personal and professional goals?

One of the best ways to get what you want in life – and we all need help – is to be the conduit that helps other people get what they want. Here’s what I want you to do.

Make a list with two columns. In column 1, write down the names of everyone you regularly interact with. In column 2, write down the main goals they’re trying to achieve. Don’t beat yourself up, if you don’t know. That’s pretty normal.

It’s odd that we know the grievances of the people around us better than we know their goals and dreams. Make it a point to get to know them.

Then, and here’s the magic, play matchmaker for the people on your list. You know people that can help other people you know. Not only will this help the people on your list, but it sets you up for the kind of reciprocation that will help you achieve your dreams.

So, be the matchmaker and watch all the good roll in.

Ray

Create a TO-BE List for 2019

to_be_listOur society is built on getting things done. Productive action is an important ingredient to our success. The “To-Do List” is a staple of our productivity society.

We make these lists to remind us of the tasks we need to complete in a day, a week, or some other time period. Some people use them as a guide, while others meticulously check off each task as it is completed.

The super-organized among us are probably already creating their 2019 To-Do Lists. Nearly all of us are thinking about the things we “have to get done” in the next year.

Numerous motivational speakers and spiritual teachers have commented that we are human “beings” not human “doings”. This is commentary on our propensity to focus on the doing at the expense of the being.

Their goal is to remind us that we are here as surely TO BE as we are to do. They are suggesting an imbalance in our lives between doing and being. With our fast-paced, modern, rush, rush, rush society; who can argue?

The extreme answer to reducing your “doingness” is to sell your possessions and go live as a monk on a mountain top somewhere. You could then spend your entire life just being. That’s not a realistic or even appealing option for most of us.

So, how do you find a beingness/doingness balance in your life? How do you keep yourself reminded to “just be” or to become who you want TO BE?

Create a To-Be List. I know, I know, I see the paradox in suggesting a doing to improve your ability to be. Life is full of paradoxes.

Your To-Be List has two aspects:

  1. Planned Beingness – these times can go right on your calendar along with your to-dos. They are planned times in your day or week where you plan to just be. Just being can mean meditating, sitting quietly, or brainstorming…you get to define what it means for you. There are just two rules. This time must be time away from your To-Do List activites. You’re not doing any of them or thinking about them. PLANNED BEINGNESS IS YOU TIME. Place this in your daily To-Do List or on your calendar. Plan your beingness.
  2. Visionary Beingness– answers the question, “Who do I want TO BE a year from now?” A To-Do List enumerates the tasks you want to get done in the next year. Your To-Be List can enumerate the characteristics you want TO BE in the next year. These can be self-development goals, career goals, or personal characteristics. This is your list of things TO BE in the coming year. It’s an organized way to spell out who you want TO BE the same way you list what you need to do. Examples include the following.
    • By ______, I will BE less judgmental than I am now.
    • By ______, I will BE more courageous in following my dreams than I am now.
    • By ______, I will BE in a managerial role.
    • By ______, I will BE more at peace than I am today.
    • By ______, I will BE a more accomplished writer.
    • By ______, I will BE a more effective business owner.

Tips for Success:

  • Make your To-Be List as important as your To-Do List.
  • Use existing tools like your current electronic calendar or hard copy planner to create your To-Be List right along side your To-Do List.
  • Make it part of your routine.
  • Spend time each day reviewing your To-Be List just as you do your To-Do List.

By making time TO BE, you will experience greater peace and contentment. By envisioning who you want TO BE, you are focusing your mind and your efforts to create the circumstances, opportunities, and intention to make it so. Create an expectation that you will complete your T0-Be List the same way you complete your To-Do List and you will!

Let me take this opportunity to say thank you for reading this blog. I know your time is valuable and I am really working to bring you the best blog possible – one that adds real value to your life each day. Your readership makes it all worth it.

Please let me know what I can do to make it more empowering, thought-provoking, or meaningful for you. I do read every comment and email. If this blog is adding value to your life, please tell at least one friend about it! Thank you for your support.

Follow your bliss! Experience your bliss! Become your bliss!

Ray

Ray Davis is the Founder of The Affirmation Spot and focuses on empowering minds to think positively, achieve goals, and live dreams.

anunnaki_cover_full_colorRay’s speculative fiction novel, Anunnaki Awakening: Revelation, is turning heads. Where did humanity really come from and where is it going? This is Book 1 of a trilogy. The Awakening has begun!

Daily Motivator #22 – Playing the Hand Life Deals You

Releasing old frustration at the hand we were originally dealt in life allows us to play the hand we now have.