My Latest YouTube Video: Public Speaking Affirmations I

A pleasant Saturday evening to you, my friends. I’m posting my latest YouTube video. This video has affirmations to give you more confidence in your public speaking. The affirmations are aided in the second half of the video with some help from John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King, Jr. They were voted the top two orators of the 20th century.

365 Days to a Better You – Day 54 – Making Hard Decisions

Making hard decisions.

No one escapes this life without having to make hard decisions. They can come in many forms. They may be career decisions, money decisions, health decisions, or life and death decisions. They may be game-changing or just day-changing.

I’m posting this one today because we are facing a very hard decision. Our beloved almost 15-year-old lab Mia is really struggling. We’ve known for a while now that the day was coming, if nature didn’t take its course, that we would have to make a gut-wrenching decision. We don’t know, even as I write this, whether we’re there yet, but we may know in the next few days. She’s an amazing dog and I have to say she’s had an amazing life. That won’t make the decision any easier.

Making decisions like this can pull at the very core of our being and put all we think we’ve learned to the test. Do you take the job in California or stay close to family in the midwest? Do you marry this person or that person? Our lives are a constant procession of decisions that create our lives.

Here are a few tips I’ve learned in making hard decisions in the past.

  • There is no right answer. Life is not a paint-by-numbers affair. We can make any choice we like as long as we’re willing to deal with the consequences.
  • Be bold. The world (or your life) was never changed by playing it safe.
  • Consider ALL the options. We may believe we know right off the bat what we should do in a situation. Give all the options a fair hearing.
  • Trust your gut. This may sound like the opposite of the last bullet point. It’s not. Once you’ve considered all the options, trust your gut. Your decisions are a reflection of who you are, who you’re becoming, and who you’ll eventually be.
  • There are no mistakes. There’s not a “wrong” decision. There’s only decisions that will lead to different experiences.
  • No regrets. Once you choose, you’ve chosen. That decision may yield great things or challenge, but own that you made the decision and that it’s all about the journey.
  • You can make different choices. When a decision that once was right no longer is, you have complete freedom to make a different decision.

Our lives are built on choices and our results come from the decisions we make.

None of this makes it easy. If we have to make a hard decision with Mia, it will be one of the hardest days of my life and there will be a hole there that will never be filled. However, we cannot avoid such decisions. They are a part of the human condition and we are, after all, human.

Have a GREAT day!

mia_2017

Affirmation 1. — I refuse to give up

I am more than what happened to me Situations do not define me PS : I have always strongly believed in the power of affirmations but sometimes we all need reminders. I will try and post one affirmation everyday …..hope it adds some positivity in your lives. © Sakshi Gangwani

via Affirmation 1. — I refuse to give up

365 Days to a Better You – Day 48

Expect good things to happen

We humans…SMH! Ninety percent of us seem to be hard-wired to expect the worst. When hold these magical negative beliefs that because things are going “too good” something bad is about to happen.

The news reinforces this. They talk about nothing but the bad, the dangerous, and the fearful.

The truth is there no law of physics that says your winning streak has to end. The universe is not out to get you. Good things are just as likely to happen as bad things. If you have the right mindset, the right preparation, and take the right actions; good things are probably far more likely to happen.

You’ve heard people say things like this. “Things are going so good, I don’t want to jinx it.” Collectively, we’re always worrying about Y2K, 2012, Armageddon, climate catastrophe, or some other disaster that’s about the befall us. I call this the “Chicken Little Syndrome.”

Barbara Hand Clow wrote an interesting book about 15 years ago titled Catastrophobia. In it, she postulated that catastrophic events far back in human history – the flood, comet strikes, or earth changes – have embedded themselves in our collective consciousness. She proposed the almost subconscious memories of these create our prevalent mindset that things are about to come apart.

Now, I’m not claiming that bad things don’t happen. I’m not claiming you won’t have setbacks. I’m saying that, if you’re like most human beings, your expectation that something bad is about to happen far outweighs the reality that is.

According the a Psychology Today article, the placebo effect has a cure rate of 15 to 72 percent. The placebo effect is nothing more than the power of expectation at work. A patient is told they’re being treated by a real drug that is or could be a real cure. In many cases, that is enough to affect a real cure. Amazing!

Numerous experiments have shown that human expectation and intention can impact the reality of the outer world.

Dr. William Tiller, Professor Emeritus of Engineering and Materials Science at Stanford, has led the way in trying to understand the mechanism that allows our minds to affect reality.

We all consider a coin flip to an equitable way to decide something because we all know there’s a 50-50 chance of heads or tails. However, research has consistently shown that intention can significantly skew the supposed evenness of the odds.

Given this awareness, why not live your life as if something good about to happen rather than something bad? You’re just as likely to be right and far less likely to go through your days stressed.

Power hack: Here are some simple power hacks to help you see good on the way for you.

  1. Turn off the news. It’s generally 30 minutes of bad things are coming. Find other ways to get your information.
  2. Pray/meditate. Get quiet. Get focused. Visualize good things coming your way.
  3. Use affirmations to attract and focus on the positive.
  4. Have a positivity support system. Have other people committed to expecting the good and the positive too. Be a support system for each other both in manifesting the positive and in picking you up when the negative does strike.

Have a fantastic day!

Ray

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Awakening Affirmations

Slowly or quickly we are all awakening. The author Graham Hancock wrote, “We are a species with amnesia.” You came here without context for your being here or an understanding of how you fit into the big picture of the universe. You are left your own devices or those of the people that have come before you to figure this out.

These affirmations encourage the idea that your enlightenment is proactive and available to you right here in your daily life.

  1. My enlightenment IS right here and right now.
  2. Today I AM awakening to possibilities I never considered before.
  3. The pearls of my awakening are scattered along my path today.
  4. I AM awakening from the sleep of my confusion.
  5. I AM a vehicle for raising the vibration on this planet.
  6. I AM an agent of positive change everywhere I go.
  7. I AM filled with radiant light and energy.
  8. The winds of awakening blow through me today and I allow them to do their work.
  9. Today and every day, I experience awakening, break-through, and release.
  10. I AM awakening to a broader and deeper awareness.

Self-development Courses

Psychotherapy, Counselling and Personal Development in Glasgow, Scotland

Courses – coming soon

I’m currently designing a series of what I anticipate will be twelve week courses focussing on specific topics to help improve the quality of your life through awareness development, psycho-education and focussed therapeutic work where appropriate.  Courses will comprise weekly sessions, experiential learning, workbooks, therapeutic tasks and between-session support to help you achieve your aims.

I welcome enquiries, expressions of interest and suggestions for courses or materials that might interest you.  Please indicate in the comments box or email me and it would be great to hear from anyone who has experienced group therapy work for themselves – what helped, what didn’t etc.

The following are some topics I’m currently working on (continually revised and updated on the Coursespage of my website):

  • Life Inventory: taking stock, assessing, clarifying and redesigning your life to better meet your needs
  • Zen and The Art of Self-reliance:…

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365 Days to a Better You – Day 47

Today is the final of last Sunday’s 10 Empowering Ideas that we’re going to address for now. Today we are going to discuss the eighth bullet point from that post. It’s an affirmation – My best IS good enough!

My God, I battled this one for years. Many of the messages I received when I was young, even when I knew I’d done my best, were that wasn’t good enough. I recall I scored 21 points in a victorious eighth grade basketball game. It was the most points I ever scored in a single game. I was elated. My coach, who I’m sure only meant to improve me, skipped right past my performance and to a mistake I made in the third quarter.

I remember thinking, “What the heck? I just had the best game of my life and that’s what you want to talk about?”

I’m willing to bet you could replace this story with one or ten or a hundred of your own. Unless you are lucky enough to have had only parents, friends, coaches, and bosses who celebrate your successes and only provide feedback, when it’s necessary, within the context of that positive reinforcement.

Sadly, most parents, friends, coaches, and bosses haven’t been trained in effective ways of giving feedback. They may focus on the negative because that’s how people have always provided feedback to them. This stuff is unconsciously passed along from person-to-person.

This kind of feedback leaves scars and subconsciously instills the concept in the listener – my best IS NOT good enough. Once any of us believe that in a particular situation or generally in our lives, things devolve pretty quickly from there.

Power hack: Today’s power hack and it’s two-fold. If you have a role in life where you are providing feedback to other people:

  • Remember to start with the positive and really give them credit for that before you move to the delta.
  • Deliver deltas in a productive way and with actionable ways the person can do something to change the behavior.
  • Start by asking for their assessment of how they did.
    • What did you like about what you did?
    • What would you do differently next time?
  • Finish with another positive and express the belief that they can improve.
  • Use proven feedback models like the balanced feedback model or the GROW model. Get educated on this very important task of providing feedback.

If you are the person receiving feedback from someone who doesn’t know how to provide it effectively, please hear me now. I wish I could speak to every ten-year-old because it would save so much angst later.

  • Other peoples’ opinions, even those of a respected authority figure, don’t matter nearly as much as yours.
  • If no one else celebrates your achievements, celebrate them anyway.
  • Never take feedback as a commentary you as a person.
  • If you’re struggling with believing your best is good enough because of past negative feedback, says this affirmation ten times, a hundred times, a thousand times a day until it replaces its opposite deep in your consciousness. Write it down and post it where you can see it. Do the old mirror time affirmation if you need to.

I AM enough!
My best IS good enough!
I AM enough!
My best IS good enough!
I AM enough!
My best IS good enough!

That is the truth!

Have a fantastic day and  I will talk to you again soon!

Ray

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